Rebuilding a Life: John David Lewis on Fatherhood, Purpose & Growth

When John David Lewis found himself alone in Abu Dhabi after his family returned to the US during COVID, everything changed. What seemed like the perfect life abroad became the wake-up call he didn't know he needed.

In this deeply personal conversation, I reconnect with my college friend, educator, father, husband, and podcaster, who transformed his separation into the catalyst for intentional living. This is a raw exploration of breaking generational patterns, rebuilding relationships, and discovering that the journey of becoming better never ends.

This conversation is for you if you:

• Feel like you're going through the motions but missing the meaning
• Want to break cycles and be a better example for the next generation
• Struggle with communication in your relationships
• Are ready to do the intentional work of personal growth
• Wonder how to create routines that serve your highest self

Key Takeaways
On Waking Up to What Matters

• How temporary separation became the wake-up call that changed everything
• Why children's ceilings are only as high as their parents' growth
• The difference between accidentally living and intentionally living

On Breaking Generational Patterns

• Moving from "this is just how I am" to "I can choose who I become"
• Why being better than your parents isn't enough—you can always improve

On Intentional Routines

• The 4 AM routine: language study, chess, meditation, and fitness
• How professional athletes' dedication inspired complete life restructure
• Creating daily presence practices to stay connected to growth

On Rebuilding Relationships

• The hard truth: what you say isn't always what's received
• How asking three questions before assumptions changed everything
• Why becoming the "best husband to ever walk the earth" became his competition

On Living With Purpose

• Why shortcuts mean missing lessons you need for the next level
• How focusing on the journey creates lasting fulfillment over destinations
• The realization that growth only gets better with daily intentional work

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Intentional Living

01:24 The Moment of Realization

05:08 Transforming Through Diet and Mindfulness

11:55 The Impact of Fatherhood

16:10 Evolving Relationships and Communication

21:35 Creating a Better Future for Our Children

26:22 Finding Happiness in the Present

32:54 The Importance of Daily Routines

38:49 Relationships and Personal Growth

44:55 The Journey Over the Destination

56:35 Intentional Living and Presence

About John

John David Lewis is a husband, father, and educator with 22 years of experience, and purpose behind every step. A proud graduate of Michigan State, with advanced degrees from UCF and Nova Southeastern, he’s spent his life growing himself so he can grow others. Whether he’s leading in the classroom or leading at home, his mission is clear: to change the energy around effort, model what intentional living looks like, and create a culture where growth isn’t optional, it’s expected. 

Connect:

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review and share with a few friends so we can all help each other Remember to Live.

To connect with and learn more about me and how I am Remembering to Live, you can find me on Instagram @coreancanty or at coreancanty.com.

To work with me and explore freebies, check out: https://coreancanty.com/links/

If you are ready to re-imagine, re-claim and re-design your life, book a possibility call today.

Transcript

Corean Canty (00:00)
Hello everyone. Welcome back to the Remember to Live podcast. I'm so excited to have my guest today. This is someone I've known for a very long time. This is someone I've known for a very long time. We go all the way back to college. Go green. There we go. Today's guest is a husband, a father, an educator with 22 years of experience and purpose behind every step. He's a proud

John David Lewis (00:17)
Go away.

Corean Canty (00:29)
a graduate of Michigan State University with advanced degrees from UCF and Nova Southwestern. Now he spent time, I'm gonna kinda share a little nugget in advance. He spent time traveling the world too, which makes this a good experience as we dig into what we wanna talk about today. But when he's leading in the classroom or leading at home, he has a very, very clear mission to change the energy around effort.

model what intentional living looks like and create a culture where growth isn't optional, it's expected. So I love that. Welcoming a man who lives what he teaches. We have a lot to catch up on about life, but there's one question I ask all of my guests to really kick this off. And that is, what is a moment in your life that made you realize the importance of living more fully in the present?

John David Lewis (01:24)
Well, that was a really good question. I've had a lot of moments, but I guess when I moved to Abu Dhabi, I took my family to Abu Dhabi. We lived there for four years and then we got separated. ⁓ My marriage was not on the rocks.

At least I didn't think so. But my family was separated because of financial ignorance. I thought I was going to make that type of money forever. And they changed my contract. And my wife decided that it was probably be in our best interest to start our transition back to the United States. And COVID hit.

But during that transition, I was by myself for the first time ever, like longer than two weeks. Like I've always had roommates. And then after the roommate, I moved in with my, before I got married, we moved in together and then we got married, but I was always by myself. So I have this family and then it's just gone. And I just remember.

Corean Canty (02:14)
Mmm.

John David Lewis (02:33)
I just remember standing up and was like, why are y'all so quiet back there? And nobody's in the house but me. And right then and there is when I realized I had to figure out how I ended up alone. And I had to really hold myself accountable because if I knew what I was doing, I would have still been with my family. And that made me really reflect what am I doing wrong in life and how did I get to this point where...

Corean Canty (02:39)
Yeah.

Mm.

John David Lewis (03:02)
I didn't control this moment as well as I thought. So when I realized I was doing it, I realized I was in a hamster wheel, even living abroad. It was almost like a life without purpose. I was just in the right opportunity at the right time in the right field and my family was on board. But when I lost them, it was like, what am I doing? And I started to do a lot of research on.

Corean Canty (03:05)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Bye.

John David Lewis (03:32)
Like, what can I do to become like better? I like really isolated my life with focusing on my diet. My diet, when I did more research on what we put in our bodies, I realized a lot of the bad decision making was coming from how we.

Corean Canty (03:47)
Mm.

John David Lewis (03:50)
you know, treat our body. And if we just put anything in it, you can't expect the results to be healthy in the long run. You know, we have all of this information, but now at this age, being 47, it's like, like I'm older where I need to be more mindful of taking care of this because the older I get, it's not like I want to die sooner. So, you know.

Corean Canty (03:52)
Mmm, mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Right, right. You start seeing, you start kind of seeing, ⁓

maybe there's more years behind me than ahead of me, right? Yeah.

John David Lewis (04:18)
for sure. And absolutely.

And that was how I became present. started to really, I just changed everything. Like I focused on the keto diet. ⁓ I thought that was probably the easiest thing for me because I used to work out, but I couldn't like drop the weight and everybody always say ⁓ the workout is in the kitchen.

And that's when I realized if you don't watch what you put in your body, you're going to have to overexert yourself to keep a body that you want. But if you watch what you put in your body, you can just do what you need for proper maintenance. But after I focused on my diet, I started to become more present. Like I was like, what else am I messing up on? absolutely, it gave me so much clarity.

Corean Canty (04:42)
Right.

Yeah, you got clearer, right? We don't realize that food fuels our brain.

Right, yeah.

John David Lewis (05:08)
Yeah, so that was the moment when like my whole life changed and that was probably 19, 2000, year, 2019, 2020. Yeah.

Corean Canty (05:18)
Yeah. Well,

and you touched on a few things here, right? There's a lot of people have started watching like, you know, the Live to 100 show, I think it was called on Netflix and like people who've stumbled upon the five regrets of the dying and different types of information that really helps us think about like longevity and end of life regrets, right? And if you understand what most people have end of life regrets on, a lot of it is taking like for granted the time.

with the people that matter most. Like the quality of our relationships is one of the key factors to longevity and happiness and wellbeing. And so many times we follow the shoulds and we do these should careers, right? We start checking the boxes. We're taking those opportunities that are on the should path. Like if I do this, this is what I should do to get happiness, to take care of my family, to live how we should live, right? And so as we follow these paths, we sometimes get to this point where we're like, but wait a minute, this isn't it.

I'm doing all the things, but there's no like gold pot at the end of this rainbow they laid out to me. Like, is this what life is really about? And as we get older, like you said, we start recognizing how time moves and quality of life. I mean, when we're in our twenties in college, not sleeping, partying, having fun, staying up all night to study, like we didn't really feel the effects as much as if we...

John David Lewis (06:25)
Mm-hmm.

Absolutely.

Corean Canty (06:46)
did that right now, our body lets us know the age, right? And so there's a lot you start to learn as you start to get a couple of decades behind you.

John David Lewis (06:50)
for sure.

You know, and the benefit of it now is that my kids get the intentional learning that I'm doing. you don't like, like kids don't know their ceiling is as high as their parents. So if your parents aren't continuously finding ways to improve, the kid unconsciously thinks that is best to ceiling. So if they never

Corean Canty (07:10)
Mm.

John David Lewis (07:20)
like search for more, they won't ever be able to break through it. And I didn't realize how many ceilings I had until my family left. So that was like the best thing that could have ever happened for my family. Like it changed the way that I view like everything. Like I'm so present. Like I'm gonna show you how present I am. Like I work with kids and like middle school kids and

Corean Canty (07:49)
Mm-hmm.

John David Lewis (07:52)
I understand why they act the way that they do. Like their parents aren't me right now. Their parents are like my parents raising me. You know, they're sending their kids to come to school so they can learn these behaviors and be successful. So when I realized how impactful my job was,

Corean Canty (07:55)
Right.

John David Lewis (08:12)
I realized that I had to be in the moment with the kids and I had and I decided to like focus on communication. Like that is my ultimate lifelong goal. I'm going to be the most effective communicator ever by the time I die. And the only way I can do that is if I intentionally work on it. And what's the best practice teaching kids a better way to live their life? Because a lot of the messaging that they get like being poor

Corean Canty (08:24)
Hmm.

John David Lewis (08:39)
your parents are probably a lot more harder on you. Like they're more, they're yelling, they're poor communicators. They're using physical strategies to prevent further behaviors, but it's just causing trauma within the kid. So when that happens to the kid, they're afraid to come to their parents when they get in trouble because they're afraid they're gonna get in trouble.

Corean Canty (08:42)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

John David Lewis (09:04)
So who do they get their information from? Their peers. And they don't know anything. They're the same age. So, and I realized if I could become a safer place, I can tell these kids, I say, you know, no matter how afraid you are of your parents, they want you to get out of trouble. They do not want you to be in trouble. Like they're your biggest advocates, whether you know this or not. So.

Corean Canty (09:04)
Right.

Right, right, right.

Right, right.

They just want you

to have a better life than they had, but nobody taught them the tools to do things differently, right? And especially like, especially the fact that you're working with middle school kids, like that's such a transformational age. Like when all the hormones come in and our brains start changing and we start to try to figure out who we are and we naturally start to bump up against our parents because we have to understand our own identity. But I love the statement you said about our parents being our ceiling, right? Not only our parents, like,

John David Lewis (09:36)
sure.

Corean Canty (09:52)
our community because some of us haven't ever experienced anything outside the block that we grew up on, right? And until you can see something different, you might not know what's possible.

John David Lewis (09:57)
Absolutely.

Absolutely. You know, when I was in Atlanta, I used to teach at a school that was located in College Park. And Atlanta is literally, I lived in Atlanta and it was like 12 miles away. And the kids were going to, I don't know, somewhere in Atlanta for a field trip. And the kids were so excited because they had never been to Atlanta. And they lived right in College Park, like.

Corean Canty (10:26)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

John David Lewis (10:29)
was

12 miles away from my house, it was literally like four or five miles away. They had never been there because like you said, sometimes their community is their ceiling.

Corean Canty (10:40)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And so...

I want to talk a little bit more about how, I know you work with kids, but also with my own journey of being a parent and having my kids so young. Like I always say, my kids are my greatest teacher.

What really, like I've always lived my life to, for them, I've always lived my life to like, I have to do things different because I've surpassed my mother's ceiling, right? But it's because of my kids. Like if I wouldn't have had my daughter so young, I would have probably still looked at the limitations of what I was born into versus the possibility I wanted for her. And so I started living my life for the possibility of her, but it wasn't until I had to become my mother's mother and become a caretaker to my mother.

that I realized there is a such thing as too late, that I realized like, ⁓ there's a point when your brain and your body aren't gonna be able to do the things that you wanted to do. And so tell me a little bit about how becoming a father transformed your life and what that's taught you in wanting to help your kids realize like that life's happening right now.

John David Lewis (11:55)
so well. I'm a father. I have different stages. Like I thought I already knew what I was doing. You know, even when I took my family abroad, I thought like this is this is awesome. You know, I thought that like my kids were going to be exposed to something that very few kids are going to be able to be exposed to. We didn't even think we were going to ever come back. But

Corean Canty (11:59)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

John David Lewis (12:23)
My kids have never went without anything. Like they can get whatever they want, but they don't ask. Like they're really some great kids and they didn't grow up like me, but I don't even give them stuff without them asking. I don't just, just give it to them because in my mind I'm thinking I don't want to spoil them, but my wife gives them whatever. being a parent changed for me ultimately when I started realizing that the way that I grew up,

Corean Canty (12:26)
Right.

John David Lewis (12:53)
probably was really low. Like as far as the parenting that was going on, there's a lot of like lack of supervision. A lot of me making decisions that I probably, yes. And I was making decisions that I probably should not have been making. But the problem was is that I didn't get caught by any traps.

Corean Canty (13:02)
Latchkey kids. We were the latchkey kids, right? Yeah, yeah.

John David Lewis (13:17)
Like I maneuvered through a lot of the poor information I learned and didn't get caught. So having a kid, my daughter...

All I was like, I just wanted to expose her to as much as possible. Then when I had my son, it was like same thing, the same mission. But I was whooping my kids then. Like I was whooping them like I was being whooped because I had the message in that I need to whoop them early so that it will change the behavior. And of course, years later, I realized that that was the poor mindset, but I'm blessed that they don't even remember that.

that occurred, but I used to whip them for real. It's almost like child abuse in sense.

Corean Canty (14:04)
when you're looking at it in hindsight, because when we were growing up, like that was just standard. You just got, I mean, we even lived in an age where your neighbor might whoop you, right? Like the, if you lived in that type of community, the village knew like you better behave and nobody taught them any different.

John David Lewis (14:07)
That was regular. Yes.

Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, definitely.

So that's why I feel like now I'm too educated, not even just with school, just the idea of wanting to become a better parent. Me seeking new information from other people that worked. Like if it works for them, why can't it work for me? You know, a lot of people say, you know, it might work for you, but it don't work for everybody. Did you try it? If you didn't try it, you have no idea. can't. And most of the time it's because of the effort that you have to put in.

Corean Canty (14:44)
Right.

John David Lewis (14:51)
And if you're not consistent on it, you can't get a result of like you were a great parent. You really got to put work in it because we didn't have the mentors of saying, hey, that will not work there. You need to do it this way. And you need to watch how you speak. But now it's like it's so much more intentional. That's the reason why I pod. Well, me and my wife started a podcast because we wanted to give information to people that that just

didn't have the parents that could give them that. So if they just ran across our podcast and was like, ⁓ that's some good information, that could help me. Because we were completely blind. Like her situation was better than mine, but coming together, it was just like, we're gonna do it this way. And it was really whatever I said, because in my head, I'm the man and we're gonna do it this way. So a lot of the conflict came from me bringing

Corean Canty (15:20)
Yeah.

John David Lewis (15:46)
one idea and she's bringing another one and she think this is better verse not saying verses but thinking like is what's the better way to do it not saying that this is the right way let's come up with something that we both agree with and we can move forward because everything that taught us as a kid could be improved there was no perfect way there was no best practice everything could be improved so

Corean Canty (15:57)
Right.

Right.

Right. And

there's more than what we just experienced, right? Like there's so much more that we can learn and that we can learn from other people. That's why community is so important and why allowing yourself to meet different people and get outside of your box and seek new information and being curious about different ways allows us to start thinking about, maybe my life can look different. Maybe I actually can create it how I want to. Maybe I can...

John David Lewis (16:15)
absolutely.

for sure.

Corean Canty (16:39)
let go of some of those old things that were given to me or those old belief systems that don't really fit, but I'm still struggling to hold on because that's all I know, like realizing like it's okay to evolve and to learn better ways and to seek new information. that, mean, information's at our fingertips now, right? Like there's so many different ways to connect with people and experience different people and different cultures and different thinking that could help us have a much richer life experience.

John David Lewis (17:06)
Absolutely. But it has to be intentional though, because I think a lot of times people, they hang in their own bubble. Like I realized, like I'm kind of a strange and I'm in a strange situation as a man. Like.

Corean Canty (17:10)
Yeah.

John David Lewis (17:24)
I'm in so many different groups because of organizations that I've been in and different places. So I've created relationships. So I've seen these men talk how they talk, right? So I can look at what's preventing men from becoming better parents. And a lot of it is because we really believe we know what we're doing and we don't know what we're doing.

Corean Canty (17:35)
Mm-hmm.

Mmm.

and not being

open to new ideas. Yeah.

John David Lewis (17:52)
And yes, absolutely.

without my wife having the patience for me to mature enough to learn how to grow, we wouldn't even be here because I didn't and I see that a lot. think like I said, I think I said earlier, relationships. You have to have two mature people if it's going to grow.

And if one of the typically somebody is going to be immature and they're not going to know that they're immature and it's going to cause the struggle. But if you have two mature people, they know disagreements are going to happen, but you need to have like boundaries and rules on how to happen when you get there. Because a lot of times I used to talk crazy to my wife. Like, and I didn't even know it though. It was just my tone was so nasty, but, I had to un-layer that.

Corean Canty (18:44)
Mm-hmm.

John David Lewis (18:44)
Like,

why did I talk to my, I love my wife, but I didn't know she was taking it that way. I'm like, this is who I am. This is who you marry. And not knowing that I could change my tone and get a different result. But I'm like, who you talking to like that? And she's like, she doesn't say like, why are you talking to me like this? You know, she's going to respond in a, like, you don't talk to me like that. And it's a conflict. So looking back as...

Corean Canty (18:47)
Mm-hmm.

Right.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Right.

John David Lewis (19:13)
my parents did how they did. I understood the misunderstanding of relationships. And that's where the problem with parenting come, cause I'm gonna tell you.

Corean Canty (19:20)
Mm-hmm.

John David Lewis (19:24)
If two people knew how to get into a relationship, we would have less babies at an early age. And I think this, like the being present part, we have to find out who we are. And I think that's the case. Like if we are listening to other people's messages, we're gonna be more distracted by things that don't matter versus finding out who we really are. And this is what I learned through my wife in this most recent journey.

Corean Canty (19:41)
Yes.

John David Lewis (19:54)
The more questions you ask, the more answers you can get. But if you don't ask any questions, you can't get the answers for you to make a sound decision in moving forward. And a lot of times we end up making decisions, complete assumptions.

Corean Canty (19:57)
Right.

off of assumptions because you haven't

asked and you haven't gotten the information. And so you're, you're having these struggles and relationships. And like you said, even at the beginning of relationships, even when you're looking for someone, because we have all these assumptions in our head and then we put forth expectations based on our assumptions, things we've never talked about, like coming back to communication being key to living a good life. If you don't know how to communicate.

there's always going to be friction and struggles, right? And we're not just taught how to communicate well. And we're not taught to, like you said, give ourselves tools for when our emotions are high. Because when our emotions are high, everything else goes out the window, right? So how do we recognize and have tools to say, wait a minute, maybe we should come back to this, or here's my word to let you know I'm feeling this way. So what comes out of my mouth is it really might not be what I mean, but it's just my reaction to my feelings.

And how do I even as a human start to understand that? Because again, if quality relationships is one of the number one things to have longevity and happiness in life, but we're never given tools how to be in relationship, not just in romantic relationships, in relationship with our family, in relationship with our children, in relationship with our coworkers, in relationship with the stranger who walks by on the street that we have to communicate and engage with, right? I think it's so important to learn these tools.

John David Lewis (21:28)
Absolutely.

Corean Canty (21:32)
to be able to improve the quality of our relationship.

John David Lewis (21:35)
You know, earlier you were talking about evolution and I've come to the conclusion, the reason why we're here in relationships because man has dictated what relationships should look like. And now that women are having more of or being more of our counterparts, like they're just as equal. Like we're looking at it. Maybe we treated women the wrong way for a long time. And maybe the relationships that we were destroying is because we're following the wrong message. And a lot of it comes from

things like the Bible. Like the Bible is not in the favor of women at all, but if you're a religious person, men can use scripture against a woman and make a woman feel like that's their job. And this is when I determined this. My wife used to tell me, she says, I know my duty as a wife. I'm supposed to do more like toward me, like as far as the relationship capacity and physical and the physical part. And I didn't.

Corean Canty (22:07)
you

Mm-hmm.

John David Lewis (22:30)
I didn't understand why she could say that and things still wouldn't change. And then when I went on this journey, I realized that sex...

It's a lack of discipline for the most part. If people worked up, like if they had sex maybe once a month, it would be more exciting. You would look forward to it. But since men can get an erection so quickly and we've controlled history, we should be able to do it whenever we want when we're married. And we don't put into the mindset that the woman only really did it any time at the beginning because she really liked us.

And like after time goes on, you have to warm her up and get there. She's not gonna just be like turned on because we don't have any discipline when we get erection. It was like, okay, it's time to go. But, and I had to learn that the, I wouldn't say the hard way, but through a process that my wife, if she doesn't wanna do it.

I shouldn't have to feel like that's her job to do it. I need to figure out what can we do to get on the same page. But in my mindset and what I've been taught, that women are supposed to do their job when we get married. And like I said, there's words in scriptures where people feel like that's law. And I realized that that's a poor message because you're going to hold women to a standard. ⁓

Corean Canty (23:41)
Right.

John David Lewis (23:56)
that's very difficult to uphold because they have a job nowadays, they're raising kids, and the raising kids aspect is way more than most men really know. I want to just say this.

Corean Canty (24:05)
Right. Well, and

like men don't also recognize that we're not the same as men biologically, right? We are a different person every week of the month, physically, emotionally, how our body is operating. Like we operate in cycles. Things are different. Some days we feel good. Some days we feel bad. Some days we need rest. Some days we have energy where men operate on 24 hour cycles. So they're used to things happening in a very routine way, just even physically in their bodies. And so

I appreciate as someone who's known you for a long time and speaking to you now as the man you are and knowing the man you were in college, which about say you were a bad man in college, but I mean, we were kids, we all know what college life was like and.

John David Lewis (24:45)
yeah.

Corean Canty (24:49)
I mean... ⁓

John David Lewis (24:49)
But I'm so,

look, I want you to know this. I really thought I was living the life I was supposed to be living in college. My father told me, don't get in a relationship. He was like, you're supposed to enjoy as much life as possible because after college life is gonna start. So do anything you can, like have fun. Don't look for a girlfriend. Don't do any.

Corean Canty (25:08)
Think about how that even

sets us up to thinking that we can only have fun these couple of years, and then you have to give 50 years of your life away to things that don't make you happy. A job, a family, responsibility. We are set up to think that once you become an adult and have responsibilities that you can't enjoy life and that you sacrifice, and then one day maybe later on the kids will be grown and you'll retire, which really doesn't exist anymore.

John David Lewis (25:19)
Yeah.

I

Corean Canty (25:37)
then you get to live life again and have happiness again. But most of us, especially like you said, with the foods that we eat, with the way that we live, by the time we get in our 40s and 50s, we're already getting sick. So that retirement, even if you set yourself up financially to not actually have to work, your body may no longer be able to do anything that you wanted to do. that's what I call a someday list. I don't even call it a bucket list. That someday list, because someday is not a day of the week, that someday list turns into the regrets list.

John David Lewis (25:58)
Mm-hmm.

Corean Canty (26:06)
the too late list, right? And so recognizing that and even how you said like, ⁓ the advice your dad, live your life now. Like, what does that do to us subconsciously? And remembering that we can live every day, like every day can be full of joy. We get to choose, we get to choose it.

John David Lewis (26:06)
Hmm.

Absolutely.

You know, what's so crazy is that today is like the best day of my life because

I know that I can create my own happiness now. know how to stay away from anything that could take away my peace. Before I felt like I had to be on the scene, I had to be any and everywhere, I was trying to balance this idea that that was supposed to be fun. This is my family. But I ended up finding the fun inside my house. And the most difficult part of the journey was realizing that I did not know.

Corean Canty (26:49)
Bye.

Right.

John David Lewis (26:59)
what the inside of a house was supposed to look like. And I was too busy worried about what was outside was looking like. And my wife was ⁓ a woman with many hats keeping the house together. throughout time, I've looked at my wife and thought about the way people view me. They always say these nice and glowing things about how they like the look of my family. But before the most recent part of my life, like,

She kept that all together. She made me look that way, you know, and I'm so

Corean Canty (27:30)
Which

I'm grateful that you acknowledged her in that way, right? And that you recognize that because many times women do this double duty and it goes unrecognized and people don't understand how much work is put into it. And so the fact that you recognize that and you have a daughter, yeah. ⁓

John David Lewis (27:48)
that came through the reflection. The reflection went, I lost.

So I was trying to figure out, I, like now, like I've been in so many weddings at an early age, not as much lately, but, and a lot of them didn't make it. And then I was thinking like, a daughter is going to be attracted to her father. Like.

for the most part, like something about the father either gonna stay completely away from it or they're gonna like a lot of the things about the father. And I was just looking at me like...

I don't want my daughter being attracted to this personality. Like I'm outgoing, but I just felt like I was just too much trouble. I didn't want that. So I was trying to figure out how could I change myself where my daughter would be attracted to what I have. So I started removing all of my bad habits because they're going to adopt your habits anyway.

Corean Canty (28:26)
Mmm.

John David Lewis (28:44)
So you can't have any bad habits and they get bad habits because you gave it to them. That wouldn't be fair. know, they didn't ask for that bad habit. So I was like, what can I do to remove all of my bad habits so that my daughter would be attracted to my good habits and find maybe a man that I'm trying to become and that my son will reflect the person that I am now versus the person who I used to be. So working with my wife and like I said, she gave me the...

she had the patience for me to mature because before they left, she told me that when I came back, I only had six months and I didn't even know that. And she told me it was just like, she didn't like how I spoke to her. She didn't like how we handle tough conversations. She didn't like how I turned things off because I didn't want to talk about something. And...

But I learned that while we were apart. So I had time to get my mind together on what could I do to avoid any of situations because this is my family. I'm not about to lose it because I don't know how to communicate. And that's when I realized. Uh-huh.

Corean Canty (29:52)
Yeah, yeah. Let me point out something to you

that I don't even know if you've connected the dots on yet, right? A little while ago, you said, like, you didn't know what the inside of your house should look like because you were worried about what's going on outside the house. And it took the house, the inside of that house going away for you to figure out what the inside of your house looked like, right? Who you are. And like a lot of us don't recognize

John David Lewis (30:18)
Mm-hmm.

Corean Canty (30:21)
the metaphor, the parallel to that of like, there's our physical household and our family, but then there's the house of ourselves. And how many of us don't know what the inside of our house looks like because we're too worried about everything outside of us. We're too worried about what everybody else looks like. We're too worried about comparing things. We're too worried about living up to this expectation or this should, or what do I look like, or who's going to judge me, or what do they think, right? Or these unrealistic expectations and habits that you say have been passed on to us without being like, but wait a minute.

John David Lewis (30:25)
Mm-hmm.

Corean Canty (30:50)
have to choose all of this stuff. Like I can clean house and I can buy new furniture and I can repaint the walls. You know, I can knock down some walls if I need to.

John David Lewis (30:54)
You can.

And you know, the benefit of what you just said, I've lived in so many different places that I've seen the transition of who I became. Like there were parts of me that I didn't like anymore. And I was like, I don't want anybody to ever know that I used to do this. And then like up until this point, it's so crazy when I mentioned the person that I used to be to new people, they have no idea or even believe that I was capable of being the person that I used to be. And to me, I feel like

When anybody, like no matter what, I'm tell you I've gotten, whenever through, at any point in my day.

I feel like anybody could drop in and watch me because I am going to do the best thing, the right thing with the information that I have. I'm not trying to take advantage of anybody. I only want to learn and share information. I used to have a problem with giving unsolicited advice because I had so much growth. I wanted to just share. was like I had a new toy and I was like, you will love this. I promise you. I have a different appreciation for life. Like I go to work knowing that I'm going to get better at something.

Corean Canty (31:59)
Yeah.

John David Lewis (32:06)
I'm going to practice. I'm going to be intentional. And maybe one day, 10 years from now, one of the kids that I talked to said, Mr. Lewis said, my effort will change my results. I put that work in and everything changed. And that is the energy that I have now, like for everything, like right now. Like I was so excited about this podcast because I get to share things that I've learned. I get to like try to share this energy because I'm telling you it's

Like my coworkers, they always say, Mr. Lewis, you're so happy. I'm like, if you knew how important today was, you'd be happy too, but they're caught up in this hamster wheel and they don't know how to get out.

Corean Canty (32:44)
Yeah.

Yeah, say that, see that part. If you knew how important today was, because we don't get it back. Like it's, like the only thing that's real is today. Like yesterday's gone. We can't go back there tomorrow. We have no idea. Like right now in this very moment is the only thing that's real. So are we showing up to it or are we wasting it? Yeah. Yeah. So let's speaking of days, one of the things I'm really big on, ⁓ and people who follow the podcast or who've ever worked with me,

John David Lewis (32:54)
correct.

right now.

for sure.

Corean Canty (33:18)
is how we live our days, right? That's so important in showing up to life and remembering to live. And I'm very big on like the structure of our day. I'm big on making sure you wake up and pour, fill your cup first, right? You can't pour from an empty cup. So how do you fill your cup first? How do you come back to yourself at the end of the day, let go of everything else that's not yours so you can rest, right? And so you can do it again because when you get the beginning and the end right, that middle part becomes a lot easier and you can show up to it better.

John David Lewis (33:30)
Mm-hmm.

Corean Canty (33:46)
And I know you're also someone who believes in the power of like routines and giving yourself structure to live within so that you can live more fully. So share a little bit more about your ideas on the power of routines.

John David Lewis (33:47)
Absolutely.

Definitely.

Well, I'll tell you this. ⁓ and I'll say this, my wife told me, she said, John, you're lucky because you didn't lose your family to grow up. A lot of men lose their families and it's too late. And you got COVID. Like I was an administrator, so I was at home and I was like, I need a routine. Okay, this is where it came from. Cause I used to wonder.

Corean Canty (34:13)
Hmm.

John David Lewis (34:28)
Like, why am I not rich? Why am I not rich like LeBron James and Dave Chappelle? And I was like, they can do whatever. And I was like, what did I miss? And I started to study professional athletes and people that were good in their craft. And I realized that they had a routine to work on their craft every single day, even when they were sick, when they were like on vacation, that was a part of like brushing their teeth.

Corean Canty (34:30)
You

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

John David Lewis (34:55)
It was like the only way I can live this life is if I become so good that somebody would pay me to do this. So that's when I decided to, can I get good in an area? So I started focused, like I said, communication. I started focusing on languages. I study Arabic, Korean, Spanish and German.

Every morning, I wake up at four o'clock every morning. I study that, then I work on chess because at one point, at some point in my life, I want to become a grand master in chess. don't, not a grand master, I want to compete against a grand master in chess. I know what it takes to be that good, but I just want to know the game well enough. But I know that I can't do it unless I'm intentional about it. So I do that, I meditate, and I have this little workout. And all of this is before I go to work.

Corean Canty (35:27)
that's cool. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

John David Lewis (35:45)
This has been going on for like six years now. And I've fallen in love with this routine because I've planted so many seeds along my journey that people are recognizing things that I didn't even know I was developing because of my routine. And it was all through the power of communication. Like I didn't realize how bad I wasn't communicating. Just because I said it this way doesn't mean it was received that way. And

Corean Canty (35:45)
Right.

Right,

that part.

John David Lewis (36:14)
Yes. So me and my wife, we have a routine. So that's my morning routine, like you said. And then I go to work and I try to practice everything as far as being silent when I'm supposed to, processing information, ask three questions before I even assume anything so that I can truly understand what you're asking or what you're even talking about. Because again, unsolicited advice can turn down a conversation. But I go through the day and when I get out of work,

Corean Canty (36:22)
Mm-hmm.

Right?

John David Lewis (36:46)
it's between like four and six. If I'm not cooking dinner, I'm working on being creative on my podcast or coming up with ideas on how I can improve on the presentation of my material. But about 5.36, we have dinner as a family. We'll have a conversation.

If we're not gonna watch anything or play games, we've been playing games a lot lately, because my daughter is leaving and we've just been trying to maximize the times we have because we know that when she leaves, we're different people and she's gonna be a different person. So we're just trying to be present in that moment also. So after that happens, me and my wife, every single night, if she's not on a business meeting or if I'm not out of town.

Corean Canty (37:12)
Mmm, that's good.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I love that. I love it.

John David Lewis (37:33)
about 6.30, seven o'clock after we've walked the dogs, we'll have a drink and we'll watch like a show that she's into. But we'll have a time where we can wind down and reflect on our day on like what was good about the day, what was bad, what do we have to do the next day? And yeah, so that's my routine. And this is...

Corean Canty (37:52)
Yeah.

To connect, to really connect. Yes, yeah.

John David Lewis (38:01)
I haven't said, but I plan on being the best husband to ever had walked the earth. And the reason why I want to do that, because this is the one thing that I feel like I compete with any man, regardless of skill set. If you're born and you can get married, you can always work to become a better husband. You know what I'm saying? So like to me, my wife deserves that because I can't become this man without her, without her patience. I'm just a single dude.

Corean Canty (38:26)
Right.

John David Lewis (38:29)
like in telling people why they should get married or shouldn't get married. But being that I feel the way that I do, she allowed this to develop. And I'm so grateful that, cause I have a lot of single friends, they're handsome, got a lot of money, but they don't look as happy as I would want to be. Like you can't be our age and not be working on something to be happy later. It's like they're in this mindset where

Corean Canty (38:49)
You

John David Lewis (38:59)
I make my money, I wanna control this. But like you said earlier, the relationships is, mean, life is dependent on the relationships you create. And if you're gonna like enjoy life, you want somebody to do it with. And why not it be like your partner, your person? And that's what it's all about for me. Just showing people that if you put the work in, it'll develop.

Corean Canty (39:08)
Mm-hmm.

Yes, yeah. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

John David Lewis (39:24)
But if you don't put the work in, you can't hope that you're just the lucky one and got lucky with somebody who made it happen.

Corean Canty (39:30)
Right, right. And that's so important that, you know, we've seen time and time again, money isn't the key to happiness. Now money can make life easier, but you can get all the money in the world and still be miserable. You can get all the money in the world and still get sick. You can get all the money in the world and be alone, right? Because even if you're paying people to be around you, you're still going to be lonely because you have no real, genuine connections. And some of the poorest people are some of the happiest people on earth.

John David Lewis (39:41)
Absolutely.

Definitely.

for sure.

Corean Canty (40:00)
because what comes first is community and connection. And they've learned to find joy in any situation, right? And like that's what we can learn a lot from children. There's children who are born into situations that many of us as adults couldn't even fathom living or survive a day yet. And they still play, right? They still play because they still look for the joy. It hasn't been taken away from them yet, right?

John David Lewis (40:09)
Absolutely.

Absolutely.

They ain't been compromised

yet.

Corean Canty (40:30)
Right. And

I think that's why play is so important to remember to play as you get older and to remember to create these situations where you're present with each other and you find joy and you find laughter. And then, yeah, I think that's when the type of money that you need comes because you've decided what type of life you want to live. And the best life doesn't mean the most expensive life. Right. It means getting clear on what you want and how you want to spend your days. And then creating that reality.

John David Lewis (40:51)
for sure.

Absolutely. ⁓ It took me a long time to learn that too. ⁓ I remember before my family left when we were in Abu Dhabi, I was driving down, like mind you, I want to kind of create this idea of where we lived. We lived in a high rise on the beach and the windows were like 20 feet tall. You know, it's like all windows and we're on the beach and I'm driving down the beach. Maybe I just passed up my building.

Corean Canty (41:14)
Mm-hmm.

John David Lewis (41:27)
where I live because I was going somewhere. And I just thought like, we travel the world. My kids go to international school that costs more than my university. My wife isn't working. Like in my mind, this is supposed to be the peak. Like you're taking care. And I was like so unhappy. And I was just like, that's when I started to like really break down stuff. Like this is right before they left. And I was just like.

Corean Canty (41:43)
Mm-hmm.

John David Lewis (41:54)
I'm doing everything that people say. Why am I not feeling fulfilled? And when that when that happened, it just I was just like trying to figure out why am I not happy if I'm doing everything. And when I started to un-layer how I got there and I was like, ⁓ and this is what's so crazy about the journey.

Corean Canty (41:56)
Right.

Right.

John David Lewis (42:14)
I cheated the whole way. Like I learned systems, but I didn't matter of taking the long route. I was just trying to get there. So no matter how I got there, as long as I didn't take advantage of people, but I didn't sharpen a lot of my swords that I should have.

Corean Canty (42:21)
Right.

Right, you're just

taking shortcuts. The fastest way to get there, right? Yeah.

John David Lewis (42:31)
I was. And

then the biggest lesson from that is when you take shortcuts, it's probably the most important message for you to get to the next level when you get to wherever you thought you were supposed to get to. You get stuck because that message you missed because you took the shortcut. that's when I came back, I said I wasn't doing an education anymore. And I said, I'm starting over. I know how to do it. I got all this ⁓ experience. I could do anything.

I went into sales and I was horrible at it, for real. So I realized that just because I took shortcuts didn't mean I wasn't a good educator. So I ended up, I went back and just started in the classroom and said, I was gonna become the best teacher that any student would have. I mean, would come in my room or any parent would be like, I need him as a teacher because, and this is what made it so good.

Corean Canty (43:11)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

John David Lewis (43:28)
I'm over 40 with all this experience and I got the energy of a 23, 24 graduate. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, I'm excited. So it was just, to me, I feel like I learned so much in this last two or three years that I didn't get when I was moving along the ranks of in education, moving up, because I have a great personality. I'll work hard, I come early, I'll stay late, but I wasn't as polished as these other administrators.

Corean Canty (43:34)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

John David Lewis (43:57)
and I just got stuck. I was because the more money, I was a...

Corean Canty (43:57)
where you were focused on the destination and missed the journey, right? And how many of us,

how many of us like, what's the next title? What's the next thing? What's the next thing? What's the next thing? And then you get it and you're empty, right? And you were miserable during the journey when that's where the joy is. The joy is like learning to love the journey. And what am I learning today? Who did I get to impact today? Where do I find meaning in today, right? It's going to take you somewhere. But if you're just focused on that,

John David Lewis (44:09)
Yeah.

Yes.

Corean Canty (44:25)
title or that destination that someone's given you. Like, look at all of the research on how like Olympic athletes spend their whole life training for this one thing and then they get it. And there's like, well, now what? And they get depressed and they don't like the that proves like the journey was what made them happy. Right. It wasn't it wasn't the outcome. It was the journey. And I think that's a perfect like button to wrap up the main part of our conversation on.

John David Lewis (44:45)
Yes.

Corean Canty (44:55)
is you sharing that of like how you really recognized how important the journey is and how you're like leaning back into the journey right now.

John David Lewis (45:05)
So this is the reason why I know my journey's awesome, because it can't ever be finished. It can only get better. So I know that it only gets better if I put the work in. And if I do it every single day for the rest of my life, at some point, I'm gonna be so good at it. But not only that, I can work on it the next day if I get up. So, and...

Corean Canty (45:12)
Yes. Yes.

Yes.

John David Lewis (45:32)
Nobody else cares about this part of my journey. I only care about it. So it makes me happy because I know that my wife will become a better, she'll be a happier wife and my kids will have better parents. They'll have a better idea of what a healthy relationship looks like. So to me, as long as I'm working on becoming a better husband, becoming a better father, I just automatically become a better man. And if anybody gets to talk to me,

Corean Canty (45:47)
Mm-hmm.

John David Lewis (46:01)
I'll be able to hopefully give them something where if they don't receive it, I at least plan it to see where they can get nurtured along their journey. But I do believe everybody deserves their journey. They just have to know that they're, they have to know that they're that important to take it.

Corean Canty (46:09)
Yes.

Yes. ⁓ I love that. Man, we've covered a lot of bases today. I'm so excited that we got to have a real conversation. And I appreciate you being raw and vulnerable in talking about the things that you've learned because many times it's not something easy for a man to do. Right? And especially in our community, it can be hard for a black man to talk about the areas that they've struggled in or what they're working on or how their beliefs have changed. Right? Because

John David Lewis (46:22)
You

Yes.

Corean Canty (46:46)
of the different perceptions that you have to deal with walking this earth as a black man. So I appreciate in respect you sharing all of that a lot. But before we go, I have some fun questions so people can get to know John D a little bit better. ⁓ What is one small luxury that you never feel guilty about enjoying?

John David Lewis (47:01)
For sure.

You know.

My wife, we bought a home like three and a half years ago, two and a half, three years ago, three and a half, four years ago, something that time span. And I used to really be into gym shoes, timepieces, nice clothes, like all the expensive things that people used to chase and.

watching how this house has come together, she's done it. I grew up in an apartment my whole life. So I never even painted a wall until our first home when we moved together and it was an accent wall. So now it's like this house is ours. And the luxury I have of living in this home is that the extra money that I do have, I get to put it into the house. we get the, our whole goal is like, so.

Corean Canty (47:40)
Mm-hmm.

Mmm.

John David Lewis (48:03)
we do know that at some point we're going to become abundantly financial, financially abundant. And we just want our home to be a place where we create our own mood so that we don't ever have to really leave. Like we can, we can go here. Like we have a patio that we did. We redecorated ourselves and it's summertime again and we can just sit on the patio, play music, have a cocktail.

Corean Canty (48:07)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Yes. Yes.

Mm.

John David Lewis (48:32)
the dogs are there and we could just watch outside and just talk. And what I've noticed that we've done that with every room. It doesn't have to just be the patio. could be like we have like different rooms where however, like how we want to feel. So to me, I'm blessed that I can always put something into the house where we can appreciate it together.

Corean Canty (48:41)
Yes!

Yeah, my home is my sanctuary. I think that's so important. We do the same thing and like we forget, like we can create joy in our own home. Like our home should be joyful. We should spend time on the things that we live in and inhabit every day. So I love that. Speaking of all of these different mood rooms, what is your favorite way to spend an unexpected free hour?

John David Lewis (49:02)
can.

You know, it's, I don't really get those. Everything is accounted for. Like I've really broken down my day. ⁓ So if hypothetically, let's say if I'm supposed to take my kids somewhere and that's canceled, I can just sit wherever I am and work on different ways to get better. Like I've created a routine when I'm sitting around

Corean Canty (49:34)
Mm-hmm.

John David Lewis (49:48)
I'm not being idle. Like I, because I feel like the only way that I can get better is if I'm intentional with the times where people are, you know how like you're an autopilot. So I've created a routine with them when I'm in autopilot to always be working on something to get better. And to remind myself, I have like, like times in a day, like 12 22, 222, 444.

718 different dates. Like if I do that, I have to like touch my fingers together, lick the top of my roof of my mouth. And I put my foot in the ground and said, I am in the moment and I am constantly getting better. And that reminds me that I am working on something. I'm not just like, I can't watch TV. Like only way I can watch TV.

Corean Canty (50:23)
Mm. Mm-hmm.

Yes.

John David Lewis (50:42)
is if there's gonna be a discussion afterward where I'm supposed to like learn or share something, but me and my wife watch TV because it's something that she enjoys and we can talk about it because it's her wheelhouse. You know what I'm saying? So if we do watch something that I like, I know that we're gonna have a discussion about it, but I don't just sit around and watch because in my mind, I've wasted so much time that I just wanna find ways to be a better example to my family.

Corean Canty (50:51)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Well, and I love, I love the presence practice, right? Of like being intentional because when you allow for and create space for and are intentional about creating moments of presence throughout your day, like you don't recognize how much that helps regulate your nervous system, how much it helps you. Yeah. Like getting present regulates your nervous system. helps to get rid of stress. It helps to tap into that longevity. like that's a, that's a really beneficial practice. Yeah.

John David Lewis (51:26)
No, I didn't know that.

for sure.

Corean Canty (51:40)
Okay, we've talked about a lot of your growth and evolution. So thinking about all of those things, what's something that you started saying yes to more often that's contributed to making your life better?

John David Lewis (51:55)
Hmm.

⁓ I'm saying yes to more ideas that may be outside of my practice. Like the things that I'm doing, I've done research on and I feel like I understand, but I can't study everything. And I know there's ⁓ some people that say, hey, you should consider this. And I feel like, look, I am focused. I don't need any distractions. I just want to do what I'm supposed to do. But I've been saying yes to other people because like I said,

I have like different groups and I've been kind of rubbing off on some people and they come with different things that I may not have been looking into. So I've been saying yes to different things if it can make my routine better. Like before I felt like nobody was really caring. It was like, you're doing too much. Like you working too hard. You got to give yourself a break. I said, for what? I've been having breaks my entire life. I feel like I found something that I know that can get better and is driving me.

Corean Canty (52:37)
Yeah. Yeah.

John David Lewis (52:53)
like, why would I want to stop? And I don't, like, my wife was worried. She was like, you're to get burnt out. I'm like, from what? I'm working on myself to get better. I'm not like trying to make money or nothing. I'm like, I just want to get better. She was like, I just don't want you to stress out. And I'm like, well, I'm not stressed out because I still have my family in tech. I would be stressed out if I lost you guys. So I'm so intentional that I don't want this to ever be a misunderstanding again. So.

Corean Canty (53:04)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, and there's a difference when you work a lot on the thing you want to work on versus you working a lot because it's a job that you don't enjoy and people are forcing you to work 80 hours a week when you don't need to. Right? That's a whole different level of burnout. So I get that as a person who everyone's like, why do you have two businesses? Because I enjoy it. It's what I want to do. Like these are things I want to do at this stage of my life and create and birth things in the world. So definitely on board with that. So this is going to be a fun one. ⁓ If your life had a soundtrack.

John David Lewis (53:23)
Cough

Corean Canty (53:50)
What would the title track be right now?

John David Lewis (53:52)
⁓

intentional purpose. ⁓ I don't know what songs I could put in it, but I think that if you do anything you do on purpose, it's supposed to get better. And I feel like...

my entire day. I even take sleep seriously. I wanna go to sleep early. I wanna go get up when the sun is coming up. Like I wanna like follow this routine where I am finding the best version of myself on purpose. I'm like, I don't wanna just accidentally, nobody's gonna accidentally become great. So all these people like LeBron James, the best basketball player, Dave Chappelle, the best comedian, like.

Corean Canty (54:22)
Yeah. Yes.

John David Lewis (54:38)
I wasn't around those opportunities to become best in those areas. So I couldn't start at a young age, but I know at my age now, my wife and my kids are gonna love me finding a better version of myself. And as long as I take care of myself, I feel like they will always reap the benefit of a man that's improving. So that is my soundtrack, intentional purpose for sure.

Corean Canty (54:58)
Great.

Yeah. And I am so aligned on the sleep. That one thing, once you're past into these fourth and fifth decades that you learn is how important sleep is. Right. If you didn't, that's the one thing that even if you didn't think you were going to learn it, your body will tell you and you will know how important sleep is. Okay. My final question. How do you remember to live?

John David Lewis (55:21)
Yeah, for sure.

on purpose. I said, I have different things to remind me throughout the day.

And I take it very seriously. ⁓ Because I could die. I could die. I do... Well, like now though, like I could just die right now. But I'm saying like, I believe in God and I feel like...

Corean Canty (55:43)
Well, we all will die. Let's even reframe that. We all will die. We don't know when. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

John David Lewis (55:55)
God isn't gonna hurt me. I feel like God knows my practice, my intention. He sees me working. I feel like as long as I'm continuing to find ways to get better, that whoever's over me was like, man, I gotta watch this guy. He is really trying to get better. So to me, to remain present, it's easy for me because my family's still here and I get to look at.

When I lost my family, I was telling you earlier, I started to think about how many men have lost their families and they couldn't get them back. And I was just like, I don't ever want to feel this feeling and I'm going to my family still. I, look, I was so.

Corean Canty (56:35)
Right, right. It was just that

thought of that alternate reality that could be real. Right, yeah.

John David Lewis (56:42)
And that's why my life changed, because I was like, no man should ever feel the way that I feel right now without me trying to say, hey, there's gotta be a better way that we're moving through life because we're destroying too many families with the information that we have. And it's not fair to your kids because they didn't actually be here. And although you're a better father than your father, that don't mean you can't be even better than you are now. So.

It's so easy to be present when you know you can get better.

Corean Canty (57:13)
I love it. love it. Well, my friend, I appreciate you so much. Let people know how can they find you. Tell them a little bit more about your podcast. I'll put it all in the show notes as well for those who are interested in learning more about John D.

John David Lewis (57:28)
Well, ⁓ I have a podcast that's called I Am Growing Man. ⁓ It looks like I Am Grown Man, but it has a big N. So the N is constantly evolving into a better version of myself. ⁓ But that comes out on every Thursdays.

every Thursday at 12 22 on YouTube, but it comes out also on my website www.lewisquad.com. My wife and I have a podcast, but this is the, have four episodes left. We're going to retire it because she's not really a public person, but she did this. She says she did it because she didn't think it would go very far. She didn't think that I was really going to.

put the effort to keep it alive. And then she realized that I really enjoyed it so much. She was like, cause sometimes she was like, I don't want to shoot. And I'm like, well, we have to shoot. And she was like, and it just got to the point where she was doing it for me and I didn't want her to do it for me anymore because she had already done enough. So now we're celebrating these last four episodes of our journey. And you know, what's so crazy about it. You ever heard of Malcolm Gladwell?

Corean Canty (58:14)
You

Yeah.

Right.

Mm-hmm, yeah.

John David Lewis (58:38)
So outliers is something that I love because that's what I, when I first started learning about studying professional athletes, the 10,000 hour rule, if you put in so many hours that you're going to become an expert. So me and my wife, I told her, said, we're intentionally going to put 10,000 hours. I know we're passive because that's why our relationship is so good now. But I feel like the intentional hours that we put in has created this relationship that's going to look like that's what I want.

Corean Canty (58:59)
Mm-hmm.

John David Lewis (59:08)
And I don't think it's a woman's problem. I think it's a man's problem because most women want this that I'm talking about. Most men don't know that they could feel the way that I'm feeling now. Like men, our ceilings are so low. Like when I say so low, that's another reason why my podcast...

Corean Canty (59:19)
you

John David Lewis (59:30)
Like I plan to do that for the rest of my life because I feel like I'm always learning something and somebody could use it. So why would I want to like not give this information out, especially when I'm looking for it on purpose. You know what I'm saying? So it's my duty to do that. So you guys can find me on YouTube. I'm on Instagram. I am growing man.

Corean Canty (59:34)
Right.

Right, right. Right, right, yeah.

John David Lewis (59:52)
doing too much podcast is me and my wife. Like I said, we'll keep them up because there's some good information out there. had an episode for every week for four years and that created this relationship that the public got to see because like we were already talking all the time but the public got to see us in the beginning struggle becoming podcasters.

to the season part where we are now. So we want people to see that. And I don't need that. know this is the last part of this part. ⁓ My kids will be able to always look back and see how their parents were thinking during that period of their life. Like, yes!

Corean Canty (1:00:19)
Yeah. Yeah.

Yes.

that part legacy and yes

that's that's a big deal yeah

John David Lewis (1:00:39)
Yeah, yeah, www.lewisquad.com and you can find us on YouTube. And I'm looking forward to sharing as much information I can to help men become better. I'm not saying that my way is the right way, but I am saying there's always a better way to do it. And if you're not looking for it, you're not going to find it.

Corean Canty (1:01:01)
note to end on. Thank you, Fran.

John David Lewis (1:01:03)
You're more than welcome. Thank you for having me.