The Masks We Wear: Finding Your True Self in a World of Labels with Matt Cartwright

summary

I am joined this week by Psychotherapist, Ordained Interfaith Minister, teacher, author, and former drag queen Matt Cartwright who shares insights on living authentically, the importance of joy and love, and overcoming fear. 

We explore how childhood experiences shape our identities and the patterns we develop, the significance of being present, the power of imagination, and the need for connection and community. 

Matt also reflects on his colorful life journey, the impact of social media on identity, and the importance of living with purpose and values. 

takeaways

• Living authentically means embracing joy and love in every moment.
• Fear is a natural response, but it can be overcome by focusing on possibilities.
• We often repeat patterns instead of addressing the underlying problems.
• Childhood experiences shape our identities and how we perceive ourselves.
• Labels and identities can mask our true selves and hinder authenticity.
• It's essential to focus on who we are being rather than what we are doing.
• Imagination plays a crucial role in creating the life we desire.
• Our responses to life's challenges define our experiences and outcomes.
• Living with purpose and values leads to a more fulfilling life.
• Connection and community are vital for personal growth and healing.

Sound Bites

• "You have to lift it to shift it."
• "Fear is the absence of love."
• "It's either all love or it isn't."

Chapters
00:00
Living a Life of Joy and Love

03:10
The Importance of Connection and Community

05:53
Understanding Fear and Its Impact

08:55
Patterns of Behavior and Self-Perception

11:56
The Masks We Wear: Identity and Authenticity

14:56
The Power of Labels and Collective Identity

17:54
The Journey to Self-Acceptance

21:05
Shifting Focus: From Doing to Being

23:58
The Role of Energy in Our Interactions

26:57
Choosing Our Responses to Fear

30:43
Understanding Stress and Response

32:10
The Importance of Values in Identity

33:42
The Journey of Self-Discovery

39:19
Authenticity and the Influence of Social Media

43:34
The Power of Self-Reflection

48:27
Living with Purpose and Connection

57:53
Finding Balance and Connection with the Divine

guest info

Matt Cartwright is a Psychotherapist, Ordained Interfaith Minister, teacher, author and former drag queen with an enlightening story of personal resilience.

Matt's journey is a testament to the power of the human spirit. He has fought battles against homelessness, addiction, and personal identity crises, emerging victorious and becoming a beacon of resilience and transformation. His story is imbued with an extraordinary passion for helping others overcome their challenges and discover their authentic selves.

Connect with Matt at https://amatterofpractice.com/

Check out his TEDx Talk: We are ALL in Drag: Our Collective Identity Crisis

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review and share with a few friends so we can all help each other Remember to Live.

To connect with and learn more about me and how I am Remembering to Live, you can find me on Instagram @coreancanty or at coreancanty.com.

To work with me and explore freebies, check out: https://coreancanty.com/links/

If you are ready to re-imagine, re-claim and re-design your life, book a possibility call today.

Transcript

Corean [00:00:00]:
Welcome to the remember to live podcast, a place where we explore what it means to live a life and live one well. I'm Corinne, your guide on this journey through the art of living. Along the way, we will learn tips and tools to live more fully and ditch those end of life regrets. We'll hear stories from people who have chosen different paths and new ways of living and delve deeper into how we stay human in a world of rapid technological advancement. Life is too short not to show up to it. It's time to do life better. Together let's learn how. So get cozy, grab your favorite warm drink, and let's dig in.

Corean [00:00:43]:
Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the Remember to Live podcast. I am so excited to have my friend, Matt Cartwright. He is a psychotherapist who's lived a very interesting life, and he also focuses on helping others discover their true authentic selves. I also had the pleasure of being his TEDx coach, and his TEDx talk is one of my all time favorites. Matt, I'm so excited to have you on the show today.

Matt Cartwright [00:01:10]:
Thank you. Thank you. I'm so excited to be here.

Corean [00:01:13]:
Yes. Yes. Yes. And so as I start every conversation, I wanna bring us into the present space. So let's just collectively take a deep breath and allow ourselves to be here right now, nowhere else. And I'm gonna kick us off with a question I always start the podcast with, and that is, what does it mean to live a life and to live one well?

Matt Cartwright [00:01:47]:
What does it mean to live a life and to live one well? For me, what it means to live a life is to live in joy and love in every single moment, To live in joy and love in every single moment, finding the joy in every experience. Now I know there's a lot going on in the world, and it's easy because our mind is trained to see the negative and trained to trained to see what's missing. But what I believe living a life and living it well is training our brain to see what we're giving instead of what we're receiving, to leave an impression of increase in every person that we come in contact with. And for me, that impression is one of joy, one of lightness, one of inspiration, and connection and understanding the truth of our potential and our power. Yes. For me, that's really what living a life well is is knowing that you're growing, that I'm growing, that I'm evolving in every single day. Even if I am in a funk, I know that the funk is only temporary, and I'm using that funk to get functional.

Corean [00:03:17]:
Yes. I love that. Oh, man. You always have, like, the the good nuggets.

Matt Cartwright [00:03:21]:
Get functional. You know?

Corean [00:03:23]:
Oh, man.

Matt Cartwright [00:03:24]:
To see how am I functioning in a way that will increase and grow, and then life feels exciting. Right? I think Mhmm. Also, living is about having clear goals for who we desire to be and what we desire to experience, and that that goal is one of growing, increasing, amplifying, having an impact, and and being in connection with other people and having community. That's really what living is about is living in that connection with others from a place of joy and love.

Corean [00:04:01]:
I love that. I've been so focused on living from joy and love, especially these last couple weeks, and just anchoring in my joy and not letting anyone steal my joy. And when I think about why I why I started this podcast, and it was really because of watching my mother truly experience end of life regrets. Like, watching in real time, like, oh, there is a such thing as too late. We might always be able to do think about and dream about things, but our, you know, our brain and our body won't always be able to do. And so encouraging people to show up to life even on those days when it feels hard. Right? Even when we wake up and don't wanna do it, we get another day. And if we're not using that day in the way that we want to show up in life and show up in the world and the impact we wanna make and just to just experience it.

Corean [00:04:59]:
Right? We can fly through decades and look up and be like, where did they go?

Matt Cartwright [00:05:05]:
Yes. We can. You know, my acronym for joy is j o y, just open yourself. When you're just opening yourself to connecting with others or just opening yourself up to the possibility or just open your opening up yourself to courage or to freedom, then you have to be open to the experience to experience it. And I think so many times we close ourselves off because we get caught in the fear. I mean, I know I've done that in my life where I'm like, oh gosh, I'm afraid and I I want it in my mind, but I don't just open myself up to the possibility or open myself up to letting someone else help me. Yeah. Open myself up to receiving support, thinking I have to do it all on my own and then I get resentful and then I get angry and then I'm just not open to the light and the love and the possibility.

Corean [00:06:06]:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that can happen so much, you know, on the micro in our individual lives as you're talking about. But I'm seeing that so much on the macro with a lot of this fear that's being instilled in a lot of us, which is not only closing us off from each other, but it's closing ourselves off from the joy and remembering, like, there are good things in the world. There are good people in the world. There are good experiences to be had. And we have the power to bring that joy and that love and that good energy into the spaces that we enter.

Corean [00:06:43]:
Mhmm. Or to shift these spaces and to be the bridge and to be the one that shifts to the light. Right? And I really just want us to understand that and tap into that, especially right now.

Matt Cartwright [00:06:57]:
Especially right now because there is so much fear. And here's the thing about fear. Fear is natural. The unknown is naturally scary. You know, I don't know what's gonna happen. I don't even know what you're gonna say. I'm not gonna say it could be something. You know, we don't know.

Matt Cartwright [00:07:11]:
Things happen every day, and it's not the things that happen. It's how we respond to it. And are we responding from our higher selves Mhmm. Our divine selves, our radiant selves, our brilliant selves, our infinite possibility selves, or are we responding from our past selves

Corean [00:07:29]:
Yes.

Matt Cartwright [00:07:30]:
And from the fear self? And are we are we tapping in to what's missing instead of tapping into what's possible? Mhmm. And that's the piece that I think that people forget is we if we're not conscious and present Mhmm. We just we're creatures of habit, and we we repeat ourselves and we get locked into the paradigms, the patterns. I say people don't have problems. They have patterns.

Corean [00:08:01]:
Say that one more time just to make sure they're listening.

Matt Cartwright [00:08:03]:
Do not have problems. They have patterns. Yes. And and and the reason why you suffer is because you're repeating the same pattern over and over again, whether it be a pattern of thinking, a pattern of feeling, or a pattern of behaving, and then you expect that something else is gonna shift when things don't shift out there unless I shift in here. Mhmm. See, I have the power to determine my perception. Mhmm. Mhmm.

Matt Cartwright [00:08:33]:
And then I get to the power well, I because remember, within everything wanted is the unwanted. So I'm always at a state of perception and deciding what am I seeing here? Am I seeing the problem or am I seeing the possibility?

Corean [00:08:49]:
Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:08:50]:
Am I seeing the function or the am I seeing the dysfunction?

Corean [00:08:55]:
Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:08:55]:
And so both exist. It's like the yin and the yang. Right? A little bit of black exists in the white. A little bit of white exists in the black. A little bit of joy exists in the sadness, and a little bit of sadness exists in the joy. And if when you stay into that open, that fullness to be able to see the duality or the wholeness, the oneness of all things, then nothing gets nothing well, things are still scary. But in that fear, you also tap into the potential. Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:09:26]:
Especially lately, I've been like, okay. I mean, can we talk about the election or no? This is good for you.

Corean [00:09:32]:
We can talk this is a safe space to talk about to talk about whatever's on the top of our mind because we are in this present moment.

Matt Cartwright [00:09:41]:
The night of the election, I said, oh, the holy spirit came to me and said it's time to serve. So I'm more determined to serve in this space of fear than I might have been had things gone a different way.

Corean [00:09:55]:
Yeah. So

Matt Cartwright [00:09:57]:
Yeah. I feel that I'm being called higher to show up in a space to be a demonstration for others to see their potential and to notice and to learn how our mind works. Because if you don't know how to work with your mind, your mind will work against you. Mhmm. Mhmm. If you don't know how to work with your mind, your mind will work against you because we are patterns. So if you don't know how to spot those patterns and being like, oh, am I getting the results that I want? Yes? Great. Keep going.

Matt Cartwright [00:10:32]:
No? Then I need to pivot. I need to shift. And then if you don't know how to pivot and shift, then you you're gonna stay stuck, and that's where people get frustrated and they suffer because they feel helpless and stuck because they haven't learned you know, they don't teach us how to work with your mind in school.

Corean [00:10:49]:
No. No. And they don't teach us how to get present. No. Yeah. And I think that's where it starts. Right? In order for us to see all these things we're talking about, we have to learn how to get present with ourselves. We have to learn how to cut through all the noise so we can hear ourselves, so we can hear our higher selves, so we're not constantly making decisions and letting prescribed lives in fear and the what ifs and the shoulds and the supposed to's and everybody else's stuff guide us.

Corean [00:11:21]:
Like, we have to learn how to get still and present within ourselves to show up in our own lives and live the lives we need. The reaction. You know,

Matt Cartwright [00:11:29]:
that's the problem with well, it's not a problem with children. That's the pattern with children. You know, for the first 7 years of our lives, we just take in everything emotionally. There's no filter. If they say you're a bad boy, you say, yes. I am. If they and and it's not necessarily explicit. It's the implicit in the child brain.

Matt Cartwright [00:11:48]:
Oh, for me, for example, like, no one was home. I was left alone at age 6. I walked home from 1st grade with a little key around my neck.

Corean [00:11:59]:
Lash key kids.

Matt Cartwright [00:12:00]:
To have lash key kid walk in. And I interpreted that to mean I wasn't wanted or I wasn't lovable, but that wasn't true. That was just a function of the times because they'd leave the kids in those days. Yeah. They just remember they had to have the commercial. Do you know where your children are? It's 10:8 PM. It's like, you don't forgot your kids.

Corean [00:12:25]:
Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:12:26]:
But it was okay because, you know, that was good and that was bad. I learned to be very self reliant. Mhmm. But the challenge with that self reliance also came with not learning how to receive help because I just learned, well, I gotta do it on my own.

Corean [00:12:44]:
Right.

Matt Cartwright [00:12:45]:
And then I started to question, am I lovable? Plus, I was a little gay kid, and I was also, oh, I I can't I have to learn how to, like, be mindful of what the other people are gonna say to stay safe. Because at the end of the day, this is what it's all about is we're just trying to be safe. Right? Yeah. If if, we wouldn't be afraid if we thought we were gonna be safe.

Corean [00:13:07]:
Right.

Matt Cartwright [00:13:08]:
Right. We fear our safety, so therefore, we're like, oh gosh. What what if this happens? And what if that happens? And then I won't be okay. And that's what little kids do is we sort of are always scanning the environment to make sure that we're safe because we're so vulnerable.

Corean [00:13:27]:
Mhmm.

Matt Cartwright [00:13:27]:
And if we're not taught how to express ourselves or taught how to understand what's happening around us, then in the childlike brain, we personalize it and say, well, it must be my fault that no one's here. You know? They must not wanna be around me. It's not, oh, well, my mom is working 2 jobs because she has to support the family and me and my sister and because my father is only giving so much in child support and he's they've got to like, that doesn't that rationale doesn't make sense to the child brain.

Corean [00:14:01]:
Yeah. And sometimes we hold on to those things in adulthood and don't realize that we're anchored in it even though it doesn't serve us anymore. Even though we're adults and we can make our own decisions and we control our environments, we don't recognize, like, what we're operating from.

Matt Cartwright [00:14:17]:
And then the adults feel guilty. So then they try to like, my mom used to buy me, Izod shirts even though she couldn't afford them. They were

Corean [00:14:26]:
I remember Izod. Yes.

Matt Cartwright [00:14:28]:
She used to buy me the Izod. Oh, I love the alligator. I'm like so she went into debt track because she felt guilty, which created more stress, which created her having to work harder and Yeah. Which creating her learning how to, you know, like, I'm just thinking because it's like

Corean [00:14:48]:
Having flashbacks.

Matt Cartwright [00:14:48]:
Had to hustle. Yeah. Right? Yeah. I'm having flashbacks. Yeah. Because she had to hustle to survive.

Corean [00:14:55]:
Mhmm.

Matt Cartwright [00:14:55]:
And so I've always sort of had to hustle to survive.

Corean [00:14:58]:
Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:14:59]:
And when you're when you're self reliant like I am, it's always feels like everything is a hustle because you're trying to just, you know, move this around and do this thing and that thing. And and it's exhausting because we're not lifting people up or lifting children up to encourage them to be their authentic selves at an early age, accepting the creativity in children, the fantasy, and the the imagination and fueling that so that when we get older, we continue to use that imagination and that encouragement and that strong sense of self to then help serve others.

Corean [00:15:39]:
Yeah. Yeah. We're taught at a young age. This is what I did my whole TEDx talk about is, you know, it's time to get serious. No more play, no more imagination, no more creativity. Like, this is what a responsible adult looks like, and then we start taking on those labels. And so this is this kind of is is a perfect segue to talk a little bit about your TEDx talk. Also, the Izod thing made me think of your talk

Matt Cartwright [00:16:04]:
of Right.

Corean [00:16:05]:
Of labels, you know, and identities that we that we take on. And so, yeah, let's talk a little bit about your TEDx talk, the theme, like, why that came up for you, and what what you want people to take away from it.

Matt Cartwright [00:16:19]:
Well, the TEDx talk title is We Are All in Drag, Our Collective Identity Crisis. And as a former drag queen and current psychotherapist, one thing I've realized in my practice is right now, everyone's a drag. Everyone's wearing a mask, especially with social media these days. Uh-huh. Online, people are wearing filters, performing, putting on a show. They have all these identities when it becomes more focused on how we are rather than who we are. And that performative nature disconnects us from our authentic self, and that's dangerous.

Corean [00:16:55]:
Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:16:56]:
Because then it becomes about making sure that other people say we're okay, and that is an endless hustle that will never fulfill our sense of worthiness because no one can tell me I'm worthy. I have to feel it from my inside out. I have to work on those limiting beliefs, those limiting labels that I was assigned as a child when I didn't have the filter to say no, no. I I mean, I remember walking down the hallway. I it was the 2nd grade. And I, my eyes, they do this. I have nystagmus. And so they thought I was blind when I was born.

Matt Cartwright [00:17:43]:
And because of that, when I read, it, you know, it takes a moment for me to focus, so I read a little bit slower. And so they sent me to reading classes. I'm walking down the hallway to the reading classes, and I go outside and I pass this other little boy, and he called me a faggot at, like, 7 years old. And now I didn't know exactly what it was. Mhmm. But I knew that it didn't it it pierced my soul. And I was like Yeah. That didn't feel good.

Matt Cartwright [00:18:17]:
It just oh, gosh. He sees that I'm different. It's like, oh, I can't hide that. I wasn't doing anything but walking down the hallway. And so I always had that sense that I was different. And instead of it being encouraged and being like, yes. We welcome all here. It was like, you must fit into this certain mold.

Matt Cartwright [00:18:40]:
Mhmm. Right? We used to go hunting, and they would go my you know, because I grew up in Texas, and we would go hunting. And they put this vest on me, which is where they catch which holds all the birds. We go quail hunting. And then when they would shoot the birds, I'm, like, 7 years old running through the fields to go get the bird and, like, okay. Now that you have the bird, now you here's how you pull the head off. And I'm like, oh my god. I'm I'm like traumatized.

Matt Cartwright [00:19:13]:
I'm here wearing, like, dead birds on my body. And Yeah.

Corean [00:19:16]:
All the other boys just thinking

Matt Cartwright [00:19:18]:
about it. And I'm just like, hey. You know? And at that moment, I knew that I'm not like the other boys. And then hearing that word, faggot, and knowing, like, okay. Is that what I am? Right? And we start to question. If we're not given encouragement to know who we are, we start to determine who we are based upon who other people tell us we are. Oh, you're sensitive. Oh, you're, you're too emotional.

Matt Cartwright [00:19:51]:
Oh, you know, if you want something to cry about, I'll give you something to cry about. Boys don't cry. You know, we start to get all of these, ideas about how we're supposed to behave, and it clouds our sense of self. Yeah. And then we're constantly in this hustle for validation Mhmm. Because we don't feel that we can be I didn't feel that I could be my authentic self. Or belong. Have any roles or belong.

Corean [00:20:18]:
Yeah. We we we never belong.

Matt Cartwright [00:20:20]:
Perform. I was very funny kid. Still funny as far as I can say. It's always funny. But the funny the humor was to deflect from the loneliness inside. The humor was try to be like, okay. I know I'm different, but, you know, if I could be a clown and I'll be the butt of the joke and always have those clapbacks, then they'll then people won't feel as threatened by my difference. Mhmm.

Corean [00:20:47]:
Mhmm. Yeah. We learn to build these these defense mechanisms. Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:20:51]:
Defense strategies.

Corean [00:20:52]:
We all just wanna find spaces where we can show up and exist is who we are and feel accepted and loved and belong.

Matt Cartwright [00:21:03]:
Yeah. Yeah. And then the challenge, though, is seeing you're one person at school, and then you're another person at home. Mhmm. And so it creates this sort of and the mask. Yes. And so that's really what I was talking about in my TED Talk is that when we become more focused on how we are and how we show up to the world, we become less focused on who we're being.

Corean [00:21:31]:
Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:21:32]:
And when you want to talk about living and living authentically, it starts with being honest and being free to express ourselves without fear of other people's judgment.

Corean [00:21:48]:
Yeah. And one of the things I think was really powerful that you did in your talk with the visuals is that, like, some people may hear these words and think, you know what? Well, I do show up as myself. I don't wear any labels. I'm not in drag. I don't wear masks. But you don't realize that when you're when you're wearing your sports team or when you're, you know, wearing your club or your sorority or you're dressing up for Halloween or, like, every time we are affiliating ourselves with a group, we are showing up as part of something outside of ourselves.

Matt Cartwright [00:22:23]:
We are, and we have so many labels Mhmm. That were assigned to us, and I don't think we even realize it. Like, I'm a son, I'm a brother, I'm well, I'm an uncle. You know? Like, I'm, my political party, my political association, my, nationality, my skin color, my socioeconomic status, my, sexuality, like, all of these labels, and each one has its own meaning

Corean [00:22:54]:
Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:22:56]:
As we use to categorize and describe people. Mhmm. And in my TED talk, what it was an awareness talk to get people to focus on how we're showing up, how we're being instead of how we are.

Corean [00:23:11]:
Mhmm.

Matt Cartwright [00:23:12]:
You know? Did you know that, the the phrase how are you came about at a time when there was, like, the plague and people would ask how you are to determine, like, hey. How are you? Like, are you sick? You know? Like, do I need to be am I saved or not versus

Corean [00:23:32]:
Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:23:32]:
Who are you being and showing up from our values?

Corean [00:23:37]:
Mhmm.

Matt Cartwright [00:23:38]:
And because we're so evalu weighted by our performance.

Corean [00:23:45]:
Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:23:46]:
Right? Are you an a student? Are you a jock? Like, we're so evaluated by what we do instead of the quality of our heart and who we're being in our interactions. Are we showing up with that joy? Are we showing up with love, with honesty, with compassion, with, a sense of responsibility? Are we showing up in a trustworthy manner? And that when we show up in these ways, then that affects what we do and then what we have and experience. But we have it the other way around. We're so focused on, well, when I have that relationship, then I'll do all those relationship things, and then I'll be loved and I'll be happy. Instead of, well, if I'm gonna if I show up by being happy and being loving, I can do those loving and happy things that will create a happy and joyful relationship.

Corean [00:24:38]:
Yeah. Mhmm. Yeah. How do we start how do we start with that end in mind? Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:24:45]:
I wish I'd known that when I was a kid because it was so focused on what are you doing. Mhmm. You notice that we do that with children. Right?

Corean [00:24:54]:
Mhmm.

Matt Cartwright [00:24:55]:
Whenever they do something wrong, what what are you doing? Yes. What is wrong with you?

Corean [00:25:00]:
Yes. As a mother, I've probably said that phrase 10,238 times.

Matt Cartwright [00:25:05]:
Like, it might be me understand. Yeah. Help me understand what what's the thinking? What's your process? What was your what was your desire? Who are you being right now when you're doing that? Mhmm. Are you present? Mhmm. What's what are you hoping to, gain? What's the impact that you wanna make by doing what you're doing? And when you just start to ask those questions in a different way because I tell people the questions that we were asked as kids are the in questions we ask ourselves as adults.

Corean [00:25:40]:
Mhmm. That's good.

Matt Cartwright [00:25:42]:
So if we wanna change those questions in children, we need to ask them new questions. We can't keep asking them those questions. What's wrong with you? Why my favorite. Why would you do that?

Corean [00:25:57]:
Right. Yes. And we're all programmed. Do that. Like yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:26:00]:
Programming is what I'm programmed. We're programmed. We're programmed.

Corean [00:26:03]:
We're programmed to ask that. Right? Like, we just Exactly. And that's why I think it's so powerful, especially because you said this in your talk, and we've talked about this just in our on our conversations of even when you talk about greeting people. Right? The how are you? We don't even think about what we're saying. It's just Hey. What's up? How are you? Default. Default. Good.

Corean [00:26:21]:
And just the way that you gave the gift of instead of saying how are you, asking who are you being

Matt Cartwright [00:26:30]:
Who are you being?

Corean [00:26:31]:
Brings us to the present moment. It makes some makes someone pause because it's it's not the program. It's like, wait. What? What do you what? It makes you stop and think. Yeah. Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:26:41]:
And what I even mean by being is what is the energy that you're bringing? Mhmm. B e, bringing energy. When you're bringing energy, you affect your reality. You affect because everything is energy. Yeah. Every thought has an energy has a vibration. Every vibration creates a feeling. Mhmm.

Matt Cartwright [00:27:04]:
You know? Feelings are the words we give to the vibration of our consciousness.

Corean [00:27:10]:
Yes. When I was in corporate and I had, you know, an office with a door way back in the day when that existed, I used to have a sign on my door that said, please be responsible for the energy you bring into this space.

Matt Cartwright [00:27:23]:
Thank you. Right? Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Corean [00:27:27]:
Yes. Yes. Because that's one thing we can control. Right? As humans, we may have that initial response that is just our human response. That's just our biological response. But once we feel something, we get to choose what we do with it. We get to choose, do we transmute that energy? Do we hold on to that energy? Do we let it go? What's my next in my next breath, how do I wanna be? How do I wanna feel? And we can choose something different.

Matt Cartwright [00:27:53]:
Mhmm. And it goes back to that present. It's a practice of awareness, of teaching people what not not just how to be present, but what to focus on. And that's what I do as as as a therapist. It's like you know, I say people are patterns. Right? But patterns of what? Patterns of thinking, patterns of feeling, and patterns of behaving. So you always want to be looking at okay. So what's the thought, what's the feeling, and what's the behavior that happened as a result of the thought and the feeling? Because those behaviors repeated are what create our habits.

Matt Cartwright [00:28:33]:
And those habits repeated create our beliefs. Right? Because I've done this same thought, this same feeling through repetition, repetition, repetition, and this is what I believe. And then when you have a belief, like, I don't know, I'm not good enough. Mhmm. Mhmm. Then that belief, repeated, will attract other belief systems like it. So I'm not good enough. I can't do this.

Matt Cartwright [00:29:02]:
I'm not important. I'm not

Corean [00:29:04]:
I don't deserve a good enough.

Matt Cartwright [00:29:05]:
I don't

Corean [00:29:06]:
deserve I deserve this big light

Matt Cartwright [00:29:07]:
of you. You know? Have this belief systems, and those belief systems are what create your identity. And your identity then therefore creates your reality. And when we can start to understand that I have a lot more power in creating the reality, then I'm not helpless. Right. Because whatever shows up in my life is just an opportunity for me to bring the energy of faith, trust, confidence, joy, and love in the face of whatever's showing up, and that's how we actually diffuse it, shift it. As I say, you got to lift it to shift it. You have to lift the energy to shift the energy.

Matt Cartwright [00:29:47]:
You have to lift your perception of what you're seeing to shift. So if I stay in a fear state, a terror state, then that's all I'm gonna be able to see is the worst case scenario. Right. But if I lift myself up to the 10,000 view to see, like, wait, wait, wait. What's possible here? Mhmm. What could this mean?

Corean [00:30:09]:
Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:30:10]:
Then I start to see, well, what's great about this? Well, what's great about this is this. What's great about this and then that's how we lift it and shift it. And then you actually you know, I actually feel more empowered in my life, and I'm not walking around in that fear state. Yeah. The thing about fear is when you're scared, you're not able to really think.

Corean [00:30:36]:
Right. Right. It shuts off that it's it's taking that energy to fight. Right?

Matt Cartwright [00:30:40]:
Yeah. Because you're out of your window of tolerance. So you have to learn how to get back down into your window of tolerance. And so, like, you can still feel and and be present to the experience, but not so overwhelmed by it. And then you have new possibilities Mhmm. To be able to decide. Oh, okay. Well, what am I choosing in this moment?

Corean [00:31:05]:
Yeah. I like

Matt Cartwright [00:31:06]:
to the choice.

Corean [00:31:07]:
Yeah. I like to when I whenever I feel fear, I like to get present and say, okay, fear. What are you trying to protect me from? What are you trying to keep me safe from? Is it real? Because me for. Yeah. Yeah. Our brains don't don't know the difference, and that's one of the things I recognize how often in corporate, we use life threatening words for non life threatening situations. How often do we say, oh, I have all these fires at work. I gotta put all these fires, put all these fires.

Corean [00:31:34]:
I

Matt Cartwright [00:31:34]:
got a million things to do.

Corean [00:31:37]:
And and our bodies don't know the difference. They're just like, oh, alarm, alert. Okay. I gotta protect you. And it's like, it's really not a fire. It's really not life threatening. Like, I was in advertising. It was a ad.

Corean [00:31:48]:
Like, it was not saving lives. You know? No. Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:31:53]:
And but we get into that patterned way of being, and then we just think that's who we are. And even the we had a had a little accident with the children this morning. The dogs got, peed in the house. And, my I told my partner about it. I was like, oh my god. It was awful. It was terrible. And I was like, it's feeding off.

Matt Cartwright [00:32:14]:
It's it's fine. Okay. Clean it up. We put a little urine destroyer. You yeah. Yeah. Is it frustrating? Yes. But we get so upset about things happening when things are always happening.

Matt Cartwright [00:32:28]:
And it's how we choose to respond instead of react that really empowers us to make a difference.

Corean [00:32:37]:
Mhmm. Mhmm. Life's gonna life. Life is gonna life.

Matt Cartwright [00:32:39]:
Life is gonna life. And the question is, are you gonna get sucked up in life and do what you've always done, or are you gonna get clear and focus on who you wanna become as a result of this? That's why having a clear goal, a clear desire of who you wanna be. And I think that we don't do that when we teach children. We ask them well, they we say, what do you wanna be when you grow up? And the what leads us to, okay, well, I wanna be a doctor, a lawyer. Mhmm. We don't say, okay. Well, do you wanna be an honest doctor, a caring doctor, a loving doctor? Like, what are the values that you desire to be? Because who you're being one place is who you're gonna be in every place. Yes.

Matt Cartwright [00:33:27]:
So if I focus on if we focus on helping children to be honest and to be courageous and to be joyful, then they'll be that whatever they do. And in actuality, they'll probably find their passions more quickly because they'll feel more supported in exploring

Corean [00:33:51]:
Yeah. So

Matt Cartwright [00:33:52]:
that they can make a decision about what brings them passion, what brings them

Corean [00:33:56]:
And yeah. And think about even, like, how that carries through to adulthood. Right? Because now when we go places or we're trying to meet people, our first question isn't, who are you? Tell me what brings you joy. Tell me something about your life. It's what do you do?

Matt Cartwright [00:34:09]:
Yeah. What do you do?

Corean [00:34:10]:
So what do you do? What do you do? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:34:14]:
I do TED Talks. That's what I do. I do TED Talks. I get TED Talks.

Corean [00:34:22]:
And and you're right. And you're right. Let's talk a little bit of let's talk a little bit about what what's what's gonna be birthed into the world soon.

Matt Cartwright [00:34:31]:
Oh, this book. I've written so many different stories because you are true. It's it is true. I've had this colorful life. You know, I grew up in Texas. My parents got divorced. I grew up, you know, as as a young gay boy without a lot of support, and I learned to hide myself and I suffered. And then when I came out when I was 18, like when I was in the 3rd grade, my sister was a cheerleader, and she was elected to cheerleading, being the cheerleader in the 6th grade.

Matt Cartwright [00:35:10]:
And so my mom, my sister, we all drove to Dallas to this little office where they sell sold pom poms so that the cheerleader, could get their pom poms. And I remember just bawling because all the cheerleaders got pom poms, but I didn't get any pom poms. And I was like, I wanted a pair of pom poms. And my mother, in her kindness and generosity of spirit, she bought me a pair of pom poms. Right? And because I've always been drawn to pom poms and Barbies, and when my sister wasn't around, I would wear her cheerleading outfit and play on the microphone like I was at this football game, but I couldn't do that out in public. I had to do that in private. And so when I came out in, and my mother used to have these she had these 2, chiffon, a yellow chiffon and a orange chiffon nightgown, and I used to dress up in it in the house and play around. So when I came out, I went to gay clubs and there were these drag queens and they were like, oh my god.

Matt Cartwright [00:36:19]:
They were the stars and the celebrities. And I was like, oh my god. I wanna do that. So my first Halloween out, I dressed up. I bought my mother's sequin gown from from the wedding where she was stood up by the priest and that's another but the priest she was dating who had another wife in another town, like, I mean Oh, okay.

Corean [00:36:39]:
That's a whole that's a whole, like, TV show TV series.

Matt Cartwright [00:36:43]:
That's a

Corean [00:36:43]:
whole yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:36:43]:
They said I was the sinner. But I just fell in love with performing and doing drag, and and I and it and it created this experience for me when I moved to San Francisco and I met all these other performers, and I started performing in clubs, and I made a very good name for myself. I have my own nightclub in San Francisco. I walked the runway from Macy's. I danced with Grace Jones. I had a gossip column. And then but there was also a lot of pain in the masking and in that community, the nightlife community, they said how to drink it and drugs. And, you know, when you they it feels good when you don't feel good.

Matt Cartwright [00:37:24]:
Mhmm. And I got sucked up into this world and I kinda really lost my sense of self because it wasn't focused in a a clear vision, rooted in values and principles to guide me. And I thought that, you know, okay. I know this is not turning out well for me, so let me move to New York. And maybe my friend, he worked for a radio, no. Excuse me. He worked for a music company, and I had my song. I wrote a song called give me back my man, bitch.

Matt Cartwright [00:37:55]:
Oh. Do you wanna be found dead, stiletto in your head? Give me back my man, bitch. Oh, wow. And so I'm like, oh, I'm gonna move to New York, and I'm gonna be come out with a single that didn't happen. Well, you moved to New York. You ain't got time to party like that if you wanna survive. You gotta get a job. And so I got a job, and I sort of cleaned up my act.

Matt Cartwright [00:38:16]:
But I still was wanting this this living this dual life between Madeline and Matt and, like, who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

Corean [00:38:25]:
Mhmm.

Matt Cartwright [00:38:26]:
And, I had, I I got a job at Lips. It's a drag restaurant in New York, and it just opened. This is, like, 19 middle of the nineties. And so I was performing there and working there and my other job at the hotel. And so, somebody came in and was looking for drag queens for the music MTV Music Video Awards for Madonna. And so that's how I performed with Madonna. I was one of the 12 drag queens at the 1999 MTV Music Video Awards, and I thought, oh my god. I mean, my I mean, my,

Corean [00:39:01]:
like, my You made

Matt Cartwright [00:39:02]:
it. Right? I

Corean [00:39:03]:
made it. In the nineties? Come on.

Matt Cartwright [00:39:05]:
Yeah. And then the next night, I'm back serving, frozen cosmological in calamari in the basement of Lip's restaurant, lip synching. You know, it's like it was it did not change my life because I wasn't focused on who I was being. I was focused on who I thought everyone else wanted me to be, and I was focused on putting on a presentation, thinking that if I get successful, if I'm famous, then somehow I'll be okay.

Corean [00:39:38]:
Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:39:38]:
And that led me right back to the drugs until I got evicted from my apartment in 2003, and it was just like, okay. I gotta get my stuff together. It's either change or die. And I think sometimes that's the sad thing is, like, part of the reason why I wanna write this book is, so that I can share with people strategies for being our authentic self so you don't have to get to rock bottom. Yeah. So you don't have to go through the pain of addiction and, eviction and all the ishings. You know?

Corean [00:40:19]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:40:21]:
Because if we if I had been propped up and taught to focus on learning how my mind works and how to create what it is that I say I really want, understanding how why I want what I want, like, who I am in my vision as opposed to, you know, thinking that and I think it's really challenging, and this is what's going on with social media is that people are like, well, I have a 1,000,000 followers. If I'm an influencer, I wanna be an influencer. If you're not sure what?

Corean [00:40:55]:
Well, also think about people to do. That rate of

Matt Cartwright [00:40:58]:
No. I'm not an influencer.

Corean [00:41:00]:
Expo but think about the rate of exposure. Like, when we were growing up, you know, decades ago, you you kinda only knew what was on your block unless you went somewhere, like a big city. You that's the only time you got exposed to fame. Or, like, we'd watch TV, but, oh, like, you never really saw a famous person or got exposed to it. You had to, like, make a huge effort. And now we live in a world where one post can overwhelm you, and you're known across the world, and you get this false sense of connection or community.

Matt Cartwright [00:41:34]:
And value, a false sense of importance. Yeah. You think I got a I posted the other day just that we voted. It was a 7 second video. It got 75,000 views, but 20% of that was hate.

Corean [00:41:52]:
And you know what? I bet 18% of the hate was Was a bot. Because I had a post go viral, and it got 400,000 views in I spent 1 platform in particular. One platform in particular. Platform in particular will get 95 percent of the hate, because there's a lot of good too, but 95% of the overwhelming hate were bought. A couple people programming the negativity and fueling it. And it like you said earlier, inciting the anger and yeah. It's not real.

Matt Cartwright [00:42:24]:
Why we have to be very clear on teaching people that what other people think about us is has nothing to do with our worth and our value. Yeah. My someone else approving or disapproving. I actually shared my TED talk with somebody and somebody I went to high school with, and she was like, based on the title, I don't think it's a watch for me. And I was like, oh, okay. Yeah. And I was like, oh, alright, Matt. Practice what you preach.

Matt Cartwright [00:42:50]:
Remember that Mhmm. Then this message isn't for you. But I said, it may not be for you, but it may be for someone you know or love. So keep that in mind.

Corean [00:42:59]:
Right.

Matt Cartwright [00:42:59]:
Because the message is really that we're all wearing a mask. Whether it's your church mask, whether it's your political mask, whether it's your work mask, when people show up one way to work and then they leave and they go to happy hour and they turn into somebody else. But if you stay in who you're being, you can still adapt to your different different environments, but the center, your core self is consistent.

Corean [00:43:32]:
Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:43:33]:
And that's what the message is. Is it's like, really, who are you being? Because Charles Cooley in the looking glass self says that we will, you know, create our identity based around who other people think we are.

Corean [00:43:47]:
Right.

Matt Cartwright [00:43:48]:
And we will create these identities based on how we wanna be perceived instead of who we are being at the center. Like, I want to be a loving person whether I'm talking to somebody I value and agree with or somebody I disagree with. Right. I wanna be a beacon of joy and light wherever I am.

Corean [00:44:11]:
Yeah. And

Matt Cartwright [00:44:11]:
if I keep that vision of being a beacon of joy and light wherever I am, it doesn't matter where I show up. Because even if I show up in a hostile environment, I'll be like, okay. I still know who I am. I'm a beacon of joy, and what other people per think about me and how other people perceive me is really a projection of their own internal narrative because you can't see in someone else what you don't see in yourself. So when I look at people and I get frustrated by certain people, I say to myself, okay. Where am I like that person?

Corean [00:44:45]:
That's such

Matt Cartwright [00:44:46]:
a that's such a good quote. That person.

Corean [00:44:48]:
Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:44:48]:
If, oh, that person is, dishonest. Oh, that's a liar? Oh, Matt, where are you a liar? Well, I can think of 3 places right now.

Corean [00:44:57]:
Mhmm.

Matt Cartwright [00:44:57]:
You know? So I'm getting frustrated, you know, like, that particular person, I'm thinking, where does that particular person doesn't follow the rules. Okay. Well, where do I not follow the rules? Or where do I act in my privilege? Or where do I think the rules don't apply to me?

Corean [00:45:13]:
Mhmm.

Matt Cartwright [00:45:14]:
I think we do it we we all do it. So we get a if when we do that, it's not like I'm saying, hey. You're great. I'm saying, hey. I could see myself in you. And I think people, especially in this, environment right now, people are afraid to do that because that would require a level of honesty and truthfulness and courage

Corean [00:45:37]:
to say selves.

Matt Cartwright [00:45:38]:
With ourselves to say, hey. I'm like that. And and that's okay because it's a pattern I learned, and it's something I learned to to use to to survive, but I I'm safe now, and I don't have to act the way that I've always acted. I get to grow, and I think, you know, one of the things that that happens is when people are like, well, I wanna how many times you ever said, well, I wanna get back to that old self, or I wanna get back to when I was that person. And it's like, why? I've grown out of that person. Right. I wanna I wanna grow. I wanna what is it that I want? Oh, that's the most become? Right.

Matt Cartwright [00:46:22]:
But what is the value that you liked about yourself back then? I liked that I was committed and disciplined. Great. So let me focus on being committed and disciplined as I am today. I just I just completed a 12 week program that I'm actually certified in to mentor people, and and I'm starting the program over again because who I was 12 weeks ago is not who I am now. And I'm hearing it from a new perspective. It's what happens when you read a book. How many times you've read a book? You're like, I read it again. Like, I didn't.

Matt Cartwright [00:46:52]:
Wait. Right. I don't even remember what I said. Yeah. Because I can hear it at a different level. Mhmm. And and and so what we've we are so trained to think that life is just gonna be some sort of, like, easy, and I just wanna be happy all the time, and I wanna be successful. And it's like I tell people being happy and being successful are not ways of being.

Matt Cartwright [00:47:19]:
Those are outcomes Mhmm. That you experience as a result of being joyful or being open for happiness. For success, you every party's, perception of success is different, but when I'm disciplined, when I'm committed, and when I'm focused, then I will make sure that I achieve success in my definition.

Corean [00:47:44]:
Right. And that's I think that's such a key because too many people spend decades living prescribed lives based off of other people's definition of success. And they check all

Matt Cartwright [00:47:54]:
the boxes.

Corean [00:47:54]:
Right? I've been there. I checked all the boxes, you know, climb the ladder, check the boxes, did all the things. And I was like, oh, that happiness bucket at the end of the 4 decades I gave isn't there. And you have to realize, like, well, what is I coach this is what a lot of my coaching is on. It's like, well, what what is your definition of success? Like, what is the life you want to live? Like, what is the experience you want to have? Like, who do you wanna be in the rooms that you walk into, and what's the impact you wanna make?

Matt Cartwright [00:48:22]:
Because that is and and your vision, your you know, I have a a a vision. My my and a purpose that I'm always striving for.

Corean [00:48:32]:
Mhmm.

Matt Cartwright [00:48:33]:
It's not gonna it doesn't change. My purpose is to help heal and transform the world. How I do that can be in different ways, but if I'm always staying in that purpose, if I see someone on the side of the street, am I helping to heal and transform that person? Am I when I talk to somebody at the grocery store, although self checkout, you don't really talk to anybody at the grocery store anymore. But if I did talk to somebody at the grocery store, when I used to talk to people. You know? But every person that I come in contact, how am I helping to leave them with an impression of increase that their life is somehow better? If we all did that, if we were all being in a state of love and compassion and connection, then that we would raise the vibration and the energy, and this division and the fear would be, actually shifted, and we would open ourselves up to to possibilities on how to solve some of the challenges we as a world are facing.

Corean [00:49:29]:
I think that is the perfect button and the perfect, you know, energy to shift to some funner questions because that's what I want people to leave with. I want people to leave with that. Like, we get to use our lives in a way and our energy for good. Right? But before we wrap totally wrap up this conversation

Matt Cartwright [00:49:54]:
Oh my god. I didn't realize how long we I thought we'd been, like, 20 minutes.

Corean [00:49:58]:
I mean, we you know, that's why I love talking to you because we can talk about so many different things, and it's always anchored in joy and truth and being in connection and helping people to find that within themselves. And the other thing that I'm constantly hoping people remember to do is to play and have fun and get to know each other in those fun ways. So I have some fun questions for you.

Matt Cartwright [00:50:22]:
Well, can I say one thing about that? Of course. Yeah. Because base you know, what you're saying too is when you wanna create what it is that you want in your life, you must use your imagination because the mind only thinks in images. And it happens twice. Once in our imagination and then once in our reality. And if you do not practice your imagination, your playful mind atrophies.

Corean [00:50:48]:
Yes. It

Matt Cartwright [00:50:48]:
does. So when you're wanting to create your goals and seeing what's possible, that that playfulness is necessary to be able to imagine, what's this? Or what if I did this? And what if I did that? And what if I did that? So that you can actually see it and that that's why I say you have to be it until you see it so I have to be loved and joyful until I see love and joy in the world around me and then I know how then I know that it's actually manifesting, and that's what I think we didn't train ourselves to as children. We're like, I shouldn't be this instead of here's who I get to be. And so when we focus on what we don't want, we end up creating all the suffering.

Corean [00:51:35]:
Right.

Matt Cartwright [00:51:35]:
As allowing children and adults to just say, well, what do you who do you wanna be? You can be whoever you want, but you must have a clear imagination and and visualization of what that looks like. Yep. And I think that's the thing we're gonna ask you the questions about fun, about

Corean [00:51:50]:
Who do I know?

Matt Cartwright [00:51:51]:
What brings me joy?

Corean [00:51:53]:
Yes. Yes. And I love ending on imagination and play because I think they are critical, and they are critical for what we're gonna need in the world now. Yeah. So yeah. So my first question. Is my first question is what's currently your favorite part of your day?

Matt Cartwright [00:52:13]:
What's currently my favorite part of my day? This is gonna sound so wild. My favorite part of my day is when I am Well, a couple of things. You know? When I am interacting with other people Mhmm. And not just, oh god. So many answers are coming to me. Not just when I'm working with people because I love what I do. I love share connecting with people. But I also have been doing this thing where I get in the shower, and I bring my phone, and I listen to my lessons that I wanna make sure I get into my mind.

Matt Cartwright [00:53:06]:
So, like, in the beginning my favorite part of my day is in the in the morning where I'm fueling myself with what I want to grow and through that repetition.

Corean [00:53:17]:
Mhmm.

Matt Cartwright [00:53:17]:
So right now, that's my favorite part of my day, and plus I end my day with, more, information. So I've been watching a lot of videos, Bob Proctor videos, really, to help me really grow in that. And so that's right now, it's my favorite part of my day.

Corean [00:53:38]:
I love it. I love that you talked about sacred brackets. It's something I talk about a lot, like how you start your day and how you end your day. If you get those right, the the middle is so much easier no matter what gets thrown at you in the middle. Okay. So it's starting to get a little cold out. So this is a even better question for right now. What's your current cozy?

Matt Cartwright [00:53:59]:
My current cozy? Yes. The canyon Paquito, machihuahuas. My current cozy, is, lay on the couch, got one on my back, and I got one on my side. And then my partner is laying there, and then we're just watching some TV.

Corean [00:54:24]:
I bet that's their favorite thing too.

Matt Cartwright [00:54:26]:
Favorite coaching because they're like, why are you always taking us to the office?

Corean [00:54:31]:
We just wanna be at home and cuddle up. Right? On the couch. So much we could learn from our pets. So much. Okay. So this is gonna be a good one for you. I'm very interested in your answer to this. What's your current go to feel good song?

Matt Cartwright [00:54:49]:
My current go to feel good song? Well, you know, one of my power songs, is, didn't know my own strength. Whitney. I mean Mhmm. So whenever I need to, feel, like, encouraged, I mean, it's funny because I haven't been listening to a lot of music even though I I I love a lot of gospel.

Corean [00:55:26]:
Mhmm.

Matt Cartwright [00:55:26]:
I love me some good gospel. So, one of my one of my all time is, I will bless the Lord, Byron Cage.

Corean [00:55:42]:
Mhmm. Mhmm. Sounds like you might need to be playing a little bit more music in your life as as we get into this this season. Right? Right?

Matt Cartwright [00:55:49]:
Like, I'm, like, listening to all these videos.

Corean [00:55:53]:
Yes. Yes. What's one thing you do now for your 80 year old self?

Matt Cartwright [00:55:59]:
One thing I do now for my 80 year old self is, well, I really try to move. I surf. We're going surfing next week. I love to surf.

Corean [00:56:11]:
Fun.

Matt Cartwright [00:56:13]:
And so right now, what I'm doing for my 80 year old self is making sure that I do movement 5 times a week because they told me my cholesterol was a little something something. And so I was like, no. No. I gotta move. And every morning, I wake up and I take, I start I've started taking shilajit. Shilajit, like, and greens and, making sure I'm hydrated because I know that exercise and movement is so important for my brain.

Corean [00:56:46]:
Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:56:46]:
So taking, taking making sure I'm taking some kind of sub like greens and and staying active, and, I eat a salad every day.

Corean [00:56:57]:
Mhmm.

Matt Cartwright [00:56:59]:
And, I really try to minimize the sugar, but, you know Yeah. I like the sweets.

Corean [00:57:06]:
I know. I know. But what we do now, we feel it 20 years from now. Right? Like, I'm learning that now in my forties. I'm like, oh, and I'm telling my kids and my kids I'm telling my kids in their their twenties what you do now, you'll start to feel in your forties. And what I do now, I'm a feel in my sixties. And when in my sixties, I'm a feel in my eighties. So it's like, I want you to remember to live, but also while you're living, know that you're setting up this body to be able to either have a quality of life or not.

Matt Cartwright [00:57:34]:
Yeah. Activity is staying active.

Corean [00:57:37]:
Mhmm.

Matt Cartwright [00:57:38]:
You know what? I live in New York City, and we live on the 5th floor. So I walk up and down the stairs and, like

Corean [00:57:44]:
That's great. Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:57:45]:
Walker because I'm always in a hurry. So I'm like, down my way. I feel

Corean [00:57:49]:
like everybody in New York is always in a hurry.

Matt Cartwright [00:57:51]:
I I I got things to do. There's just a walk everywhere. Yeah. So I feel like that is setting me up. Like, there's a woman in my building. I don't know how she is. Does she, is she past the eighties? She almost in the nineties, and she out on the 4th floor up and down, up and down. Because movement is the key to, you know, creating that, strong body.

Corean [00:58:14]:
Yeah. You gotta keep moving if you wanna keep moving. Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. Move freely.

Matt Cartwright [00:58:19]:
My partner is move freely, live fully.

Corean [00:58:22]:
Oh, I love that. I love that. Awesome. Okay. Last question is how do you remember to live? In the middle of it all, how do you remember?

Matt Cartwright [00:58:36]:
I connect with God. I connect with God and remember that everything is 1. So sometimes I have to check myself and be like, really? Matt, none of this is, like, that important because as I tell everybody recently, it's either all God or it isn't. There's no separation. It's either all love or it isn't. Fear is the absence of love. So it's either all serving us or it's not. It can't be one or the other.

Matt Cartwright [00:59:16]:
So when I when I when I do that, I remember to to sort of take some of the attachment off of things.

Corean [00:59:27]:
Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [00:59:27]:
Because when I attach meaning to it, that's when I suffer. When I attach meaning to stuff, I I I get into the duality of it. So when I find myself in a heated moment, that's where I really go to is to be like, okay. You know, everything is neutral. Nothing has meaning except the meaning that I give it. What's the meaning I'm giving to this? And is that meaning in aligned with my highest self? Yeah. Yeah. And then when I do that, then the rest of it is like, okay.

Matt Cartwright [01:00:00]:
Mhmm. Mhmm. Somebody said to me, I don't own anything. All this stuff, I'm like, oh, I'm so upset. This is it's like it's just stuff. Mhmm. When I tie it, it ain't going it's gonna belong to somebody else. Mhmm.

Matt Cartwright [01:00:14]:
That'd be good because they got a lot of nice stuff they can look through. Got some nice got some nice crystals. I got some nice books. You know? I ain't taking it with me. It's just stuff.

Corean [01:00:25]:
So It's just for the experience. Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [01:00:27]:
I just have to focus on, you know, how am I connecting with the spirit in front of me and and being a reflection of of my higher self in every moment, and then I'll live fully.

Corean [01:00:44]:
I love that. Thank you, my friend. Tell everyone how they can get in touch with you, how they can connect with you, where they can find you. I'll put

Matt Cartwright [01:00:51]:
your your

Corean [01:00:52]:
talk and everything in the show notes. Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [01:00:55]:
Well, you can find me as a matter of practice, on Instagram. Matt Cartwright Therapy is my website, a matter of practice, www.amatterofpractice.com, because I do believe that everything is a matter of practice and that we're always in practice. You know, people say practice makes perfect, and I say, no. Practice makes progress. You know? So and practice creates patterns, and patterns create progress, really.

Corean [01:01:27]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [01:01:28]:
So the more we can recognize I'm just practicing, then we take like I was just saying a moment ago, we take the attachment off of what it means.

Corean [01:01:41]:
Yeah.

Matt Cartwright [01:01:42]:
And when you're practicing, you're growing. So amatterofpractice.com, that's my Instagram, my TikTok, all that stuff. I have a quiz that I've developed called the DIY therapy quiz because I have my course coming out, how to be your own therapist, because, I've learned that from both sides of the couch that that we have to work on ourselves. Mhmm. And when we work on ourselves, we'd be a a demonstration for others to follow.

Corean [01:02:15]:
Mhmm. That's good. Thank you. Thank you so much. I know we have to talk for probably 3 more hours, but

Matt Cartwright [01:02:21]:
People be like, how long is this podcast gone?

Corean [01:02:26]:
But I appreciate you. I appreciate the light you bring. I appreciate the nuggets you share and the reminder to just remember to be.

Matt Cartwright [01:02:36]:
Yeah. Remember to be.

Corean [01:02:38]:
Mhmm.

Matt Cartwright [01:02:39]:
Who are you being in this moment is what creates your identity, and that's what truly matters. Awesome.

Corean [01:02:48]:
Thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned something, laughed a little, and were inspired to remember to live. Share that nugget and this podcast with a friend to inspire them too. And don't forget to like and subscribe so we can all help each other life better.