The Power of Relationships: Building Connections for a Happier and Healthier Life

In today's episode we're diving into the vital role relationships play in our well-being and happiness. Fresh from completing Stanford's Positive Psychology and Well-Being Certificate course and basking in the celebration of a beautiful 20th wedding anniversary, I've been reflecting deeply on the influence of our connections with others.

Whether it's the joy of lifelong friendships, the challenges and rewards of romantic relationships, or the impact of human connection on our longevity, we'll explore how prioritizing these bonds can truly enhance our lives. So grab your favorite warm drink, get cozy, and let's uncover the secrets to living a richer, more connected life.

Takeaways

• Relationships play a crucial role in our happiness, wellbeing, and longevity.
• Prioritizing healthy and loving relationships is essential for a fulfilling life.
• Building new relationships as adults requires intention and openness.
• Taking time for social interactions and connecting with others can have a profound impact on our lives.

Chapters

00:00  Introduction and Personal Influences

03:26  The Impact of Relationships on Longevity

05:20  Inspiration from Strong Black Relationships

06:17  Overcoming Walls and Boundaries in Relationships

07:36  Intention and Openness in Building Relationships

08:13  Examples of Relationships in Blue Zones

09:27  The Impact of Relationships on Elderly Individuals

10:53  The Importance of Connection in Daily Life

12:34  Prioritizing Relationships and Building New Connections

12:50  Conclusion and Final Thoughts


Books mentioned in the episode:

• You Can Be Happy No Matter What: Five Principles for Keeping Life in Perspective by Richard Carlson, Ph.D.
• The Top Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware

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To connect with and learn more about me and how I am Remembering to Live, you can find me on Instagram @coreancanty or at coreancanty.com.

To work with me and explore freebies, check out: https://coreancanty.com/links/

If you are ready to re-imagine, re-claim and re-design your life, book a possibility call today.

Transcript

Corean Canty (00:08.878)
Welcome back to the Remember to Live podcast. I'm Corean Thank you so much for those who are returning. And if you are new, welcome, welcome, welcome. So grateful to have you here and be part of this community as we explore what it means to live a life and live a life well. There's two things that have recently happened in my life that are influencing this solo episode. So let me bring you up to speed.

I recently completed Stanford's Positive Psychology and Wellbeing Certificate course, where we really dug into wellbeing theory, personal economics of happiness, all things related to what I think is important to live our lives. So I'll probably do a whole episode just on that because I've been studying how

to live well for over a decade and there were a lot of new nuggets I pulled away from that and I definitely want to share the tools with all of you so you can help to improve your life as well. The other thing was just coming from a week in paradise celebrating Kev and Melissa's 20th wedding anniversary and it was just this week of love and life and celebration

We were surrounded by so many couples who have been together for a long time, so much family and lifelong friendships, just the joy of connection. And it really made me think about the power and the importance of relationships in our life. And this has been a theme, not only in my personal life lately, but in all these things that I've been studying.

and things that I've been watching and things that I've been exposed to just the real influence our relationships have on our own happiness, our wellbeing, our longevity. For example, I've been really digging into Harvard study of adult development and they talk about how the level of our relationships in our lives and the quality of the relationships in our lives.

Corean Canty (02:30.734)
is one of the key indicators to longevity and living well. Also, relationships is a key component to wellbeing theory, which I just studied in my class and how much it influences the happiness that we have and feel in our lives. I read a lot of Richard Carlson. If you haven't heard of Richard Carlson, you should look him up. I love his book. You can be happy no matter what.

He has a whole chapter dedicated to relationships and how we learn to understand each other and how we learn to understand our own thought systems versus other people's thought systems and how to build these strong relationships that really add value to our lives. And as many of you know, reading the top five regrets of the dying had a profound impact on my life.

And it has has more meaning as I take care of my mother in these years of her life. And one of those top five regrets is I wish I would have spent more time with my friends and my family and the people that matter. And so after spending a week just immersed in relationships and connections and love and life.

I wanted to talk a little bit more about how we prioritize relationships in our own lives. I realized that

I haven't had a ton of examples growing up.

Corean Canty (04:24.046)
I realize I didn't have a ton of examples growing up of long lasting relationships that were healthy and loving. I had examples of a lot of codependency, but there was this idea that you couldn't have a long lasting loving relationship that relationships had to be hard that after a while you're just kind of in it to pay the bills. And that's just not

the truth. I think that our relationships are based on the intention that we put in. Yes, there's work. Yes, there's going to be peaks and valleys as with anything in life. But this past week has shown me that not only is longevity possible, but when two people commit to each other and grow together, how beautiful it can be. And just being surrounded by that.

by these amazing relationships and by so much black love when there's so many stereotypes about what black relationships look like and negative images of black fathers and black men and just spending a week with nothing but strong black men in these beautiful relationships was very inspiring. And it really made me think about how many of us through a desire to protect ourselves and to

not feel pain, block ourselves from having not only the types of romantic relationships, but the types of friendships that will add value and longevity and well -being to our lives. How many of us put up these walls and these boundaries based on lived experiences and they just stay there and we miss out on

some really beautiful connections and moments in life. I know I've done a lot of work with my own boundaries and my own trust and though I am blessed to have lifelong friendships, friendships where they are my chosen family, I also know that we can take it for granted. We can take those relationships for granted. We can get caught up in the busy work of living.

Corean Canty (06:47.118)
the idea that we should be working all the time in the to -do list and the priorities and all the things that we have to take care of. And not only are we putting ourselves last on the list, but we can put those relationships at the bottom of the list too. And then wonder why we're all so miserable.

I also feel blessed that as an adult, I've made a lot of new friends. I know that it can be really hard for adults to make new friends, especially in this world of remote work, online communities. Sometimes it feels like you can't make real connections, though some of my best friends I've made working remotely at work took a month, months, years before we ever saw each other in person, but the relationships were real.

And I think that's because of intention. When we use intention and how we show up, when we are open to connecting, when we feel safe enough to invite in these new relationships, really beautiful things can blossom.

Corean Canty (07:58.574)
I just feel.

Corean Canty (08:13.294)
I think really good examples of this recently that I've seen. I don't know how many of y 'all watched the Netflix show Live to 100, the blue zone special, I think it was, but they went to all these different places all over the world to find out like, why are these people living so long and why are they healthier than all of us? And what is the key to living well? And

relationships was another really key factor in people all over the world in different environments living these long

happy lives.

Corean Canty (08:57.614)
watching that show and then watching my mother as she lived with me, me being her caretaker and realizing that she didn't have a social life anymore. Most of her really good friends had passed away and she just kind of sat in the house every day was one of the reasons that I found a community, an assisted living community for her to go to, to also make sure she was safe as

dementia got worse. But once she got around people again and started making friends and going to lunch and dinner and talking and being social, it made such a difference. Her dementia was rapidly getting worse when she was just sitting at home. But now she's starting to remember little things and

I'm not going to fool myself in thinking that this is going to be a cure. I know what stage of life we're in, but things that she enjoyed, like crocheting that she couldn't remember how to do before, she suddenly picked up again. Laughter and joy that was not there then. So I'm seeing firsthand what it means to have these relationships in our lives, especially as we get older and

We may not be able to be as intentional about our relationships. It also makes me really sad about the state of elder care in this country, which is probably another whole podcast episode that I will get into, but just the joy that I see when I'm at the community and I just take the time to stop and listen and talk and have a real conversation with the other residents. It matters.

It really matters. Connection matters in our lives. And it's something that I think we should be very intentional about, not only in our own lives, but just as we go throughout our day, the impact that eye contact and a smile and a hello and a how are you and a genuine interest in another human being can have on that person's life can be pretty profound. So.

Corean Canty (11:34.286)
So I just wanted to take a few minutes to really talk about relationships and remind you how important they are in our lives. And if you take anything away from this episode, it's prioritize the relationships in your life. Prioritize your friends and your family and the people who fill your cup. And I'd say like, put it in the calendar because we all know if it's not in the calendar, it doesn't exist. But

Put that social time and that connection time in your calendar and hold it as sacred as you do those work meetings because the work meetings are not what's going to help you live well. Those moments that matter with the people that matter will, but also make time to get out and meet new people. Find your tribe, build new relationships. The world is filled.

with interesting people who want to connect with you. And you never know what that connection and that relationship might lead to. It may just be the relationship that changes your life.

Corean Canty (12:50.542)
So I'll keep this one short and sweet. Get out there and spend some time with the people that you love. And remember that relationships really, really matter. Until next time, remember to live.